Where You Used To Be
by takenforever12
Summary: This story takes place directly after Frostbite. Dimitri and Rose are found out, and Dimitri is sent away, leaving Rose to be comforted by Adrian. She gets pregnant with his child...so what happens when Dimitri wants Rose back later in life?
1. Chapter 1

Where You Used To Be

Sarah Littlejohn

2011

I can still (very) clearly remember the agony I felt when Dimitri was sent away. Alberta had pulled me aside shortly after the kiss Dimitri and I had shared in the gym, and regretfully informed me that we had been found out.

The next day Dimitri was sent to a school in  
>Manhattan, New York to work. I was left completely heartbroken, still aching from the loss of a friend, and alone. Luckily, Adrian Ivashkov had been there to comfort me.<p>

Chapter One

"Rose, c'mon!" Adrian called rom the next room. I swiped on one last layer of mascara before glancing over to my daughter, who played with a fake straightener. She ran it through her shoulder length, dark brown hair, batting her eyelashes as she did so.

I crouched down and ran a clean blusher brush over her cheeks, one I kept especially for Arianna. She loved putting on 'make up'. I tickled her nose with the brush, and she giggled, dropping the toy straightener.

"Momma!" she giggled, wrapping her arms around my arm. I lifted her easily, catching her when she wasn't able to hold on any longer.

"Adrian, can you get you're a-s-s in here and put Arianna's dress on? She wants to wear the purple one."

Suddenly, Arianna crossed her arms, her lips sliding into a cute pout. "No pur-poh. I want yewwow!" she said grumpily.

Adrian appeared in the doorway, and smiled down at his daughter. "You want yellow?" He ran a hand through his hair and picked up Arianna, who squealed in delight.

"Yeah!" she yelled, and then pointed at the toy on the floor. "Dadda, can I have it?" she asked, and then poked him in the nose.

"What's the magic word, Arianna?" he said, but he was already leaning to get it. I watched all of this while I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and smoothed the ends of my hair. I was casual tonight, because we were taking Arianna to Chuckie Cheese's for her birthday.

"Pweassseee." She drew out the word, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He grinned, and handed the toy to her.

Without even looking at the two, I reminded her, "What do you say, Arianna?"

"Thank you!"

Adrian chuckled and set her back down. "Put your arms up, Arianna!" he told her, because she only allowed people to help her undress when she was in control. She did so, and he slid her little white t-shirt over her head.

He let her put her hands on his shoulders while she stepped out of her pants, and then he swooped her up and tickled her stomach. She giggled and kicked until he stopped, and then she looked around for her dress. It was a yellow sundress, one that Adrian's mother had actually bought for her. Normally, at this time of year, I wouldn't allow her to wear a sundress, but it was still quite warm here at Court.

"Hathaway, your daughter is hungry. Hurry up."

I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him. "She's your daughter too, Plant Boy." Adrian grinned and stood up to kiss my forehead. I switched off the straightener and then unplugged it, and then let him wrap his arms around me.

"Momma! I'm HUNGRY!" Arianna said crossly, and then put her little hands on her hips.

"Okay baby, I get it. Lemme brush your hair and we can go."

"I want the yewwow bow, Momma!"

"Say please, Arianna."

"Pwease."

I snatched up her bag of bows from the counter and rifled around until I found the yellow bow that had white flowers printed onto it, the one that matched her dress. After brushing her hair and pinning it back, I asked her if she had to go to the bathroom. She shook her head no, so I let her put on her own sandals and we got out of there.

When we exited Court, we had to flash our IDs, and of course the guardians wanted to chat for a moment. Because Adrian was the one driving, they had to lean across him to talk. So of course he saw the way their eyes flicked down to my chest and back up every few seconds.

"Okay, guys, stop drooling. You're getting Adrian's lap wet," I smirked, and then shooshed them when they opened their mouths to retort. "I have Arianna with me."

With that, they simply rolled their eyes at Adrian and waved us through the gates. It took long enough to get to the nearest Chuckie Cheese's for Arianna to start making noises again. She hated car rides, and made that very clear whenever we strapped her into her car seat.

Finally, we arrived in the parking lot, so I reached back and unbuckled her seat belt before getting out of the car myself. The car was a little four door Honda Civic, so it made it much easier to get to my daughter. Adrian had purchased it the moment he was told I was pregnant. Which made him all that much sweeter, of course.

When I had made sure we had everything we needed (band-aids, wet wipes, apple juice), we set off across the parking lot, Adrian telling Arianna the wonders of Chuckie Cheese's. Of course, I had no clue how he had been, but he assured me I didn't really want to know. I would get it out of him later.

We entered the building, and Arianna's eyes went baseball sized. I laughed softly as I watched her excitement at getting a stamp on her hand you could only see with a special light, and nearly died laughing when she immediately ran to the mechanical Chuckie Cheese and wanted a picture with it.

Yeah, tonight was going to be a long night.

I had been right, of course. But Adrian kept up his commentary the whole time, keeping Arianna at the table long enough to finish her food, and all I had to do was guide her around the crowded play place and watch her as she slid down slides.

A trip to Baskin Robins and four bags of presents later, I carried Arianna back up to our apartment. Even though I was still Lissa's guardian, I didn't live with her unless there was a threat in the area. Tonight, Lissa had been busy with a meeting with the Queen, which was the only reason her and Christian hadn't joined us for our little outing.

As soon as Arianna had had her bath and was tucked into bed, Adrian's arms were around me, pulling me onto the sofa. He left for a second, switching off the lights, lighting a couple of candles, and then he handed me a glass of red wine.

I smiled gratefully, rubbing my temples, kicking off my sneakers. Adrian sat back down beside me, and started rubbing the tension out of my shoulders.

"What's wrong, little dhampir?" he asked quietly, kissing the nape of my neck. I almost moaned with pleasure, but sipped at my wine instead.

"I hate Chuckie Cheese's," I groaned, and leaned into Adrian, loving the feel of his long fingers massaging the stress out of my body.

"It was fun for Arianna," he reminded me, and I nodded, my eyes almost rolling back in my head.

"Yeah..mmm.." I said softly, and turned, setting the glass of wine down, and straddled him. Kissing his neck and raking my nails down his chest, I pushed him backwards on the sofa. He laughed and held me close, running his hands through my hair after undoing the ponytail. I sighed, closing my eyes and letting my head fall to his chest. He continued tangling his fingers in my hair and lightly tugging on it.

His lips were at my throat again, and my eyes flashed open. I grinned, and pulled away, kissing down his chest. His hands immediately went to my hips, pulling me up and jerking me roughly against him. Through the layers of clothing, I could tell the only weapon he currently carried with him wasn't deadly at all.

I smiled again at that thought, and we continued on…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I groaned and stretched, the thin white sheet sliding down my body with the movements of my muscles. I winced when I glanced at the clock: 8:00. Good thing I was off today, a Sunday. Noises from the living room told me that Adrian had gotten up with Arianna. A twinge of guilt bit at my mind, but I pushed it away, reminding myself that he _was_ her father.

I sat up, my dark hair sticking in long strands to my cheeks. In the mirror on the wall above our bureau, I saw that my hair was a mess, snarled and knotted, a bush around my head. I raked my fingers through it, and then found a dress on the bedside table. Sitting on the side of my bed, I ran it quickly through my hair, wincing as it yanked some hairs out.

After a quick shower, I threw on one of Adrian's more casual shirts, and let my wet hair drip over the shoulders. After remembering that my daughter would take no pants as a bad example, I threw on a pair of my workout sweats.

Adrian looked up from the TV when I entered the room, and smiled softly, his arm on the back of the couch. Beside him, Arianna munched on a Pop Tart and watched Dora. She was dressed in blue pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, her hair mussed from sleep. Even though she was eating, there was no way to tell without asking if she'd been up awhile. She took forever eating.

"How long has she been up?" I asked, sitting down beside Adrian. His other arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. He hadn't showered this morning, or shaved, because Arianna had most likely woken him up.

"About a half hour."

"Oh. Okay." I eyed the feverish look in his eyes. "Go on to the feeders, I'll have breakfast ready when you get back."

Adrian laughed, and got up. "Shower first. And by breakfast, you mean you'll have toasted a couple pieces of bread, or poured a bowl of cereal."

I laughed with him. "Yeah, no bacon and eggs for you. You're fat." I grinned when he mocked an insulted look, and dodged him when he came back to tickle me.

"I am not fat."

I sat back and looked at his body, which was uncovered except for a pair of designer jeans. And they were so low on his hips that you just knew he was naked underneath. I hooked a finger in the waistband of those jeans and pulled him closer, kissing just underneath his belly button. His expression went needy for a moment, and he opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly sexy before I gave him a look that reminded him our daughter was in the room. He gave me a look as if to say 'I'll get you later', and stalked off to the bathroom, not bothering to shut it. A few moments later, the shower turned on.

"Adrian, if someone comes in this apartment and you are still in the shower, I will invite them into that bathroom. Shut the door!"

He stuck his head out the door and smirked. "And you'll both enjoy the view. Mind Arianna and stop thinking about me naked."'

I rolled my eyes, but turned my attention to Arianna, who had finally realized I was in the room. "Hey, sweet heart."

She smiled at me and climbed into my lap. Mouth still full, she mumbled, "Dora, Momma!"

I nodded, and cupped my hand under her mouth when a few soggy crumbs fell out. Hoisting her up in my arms, I carried her to the kitchen with me while I disposed of them. Setting her on the counter, I got out a bowl and the cereal.

"Can you pour me some cereal, Arianna, please?"

"Sure, Momma," she said brightly, and poured it while I got the milk.

"Thanks, honey, for helping out Mommy," I thanked her, and kissed her forehead. She giggled delightedly and let me hold her sides while she put up the cereal.

After I put her back down on the floor, she ran off to the living room to finish her own breakfast and watch the rest of Dora. Not that she was missing anything, of course. I knew all the episodes by heart, because she and Adrian had insisted I record them. Adrian thought he was learning something by watching a cartoon girl run around on the screen with a monkey and talking backpack. What the heck were the writers of show promoting? Drug use, so you could hear your own purple backpack talk?

I rolled my eyes at this and took my cereal to the kitchen table, which was positioned so that I could see my daughter and the full living room, so she could be in no trouble. She sat in front of the couch, her Pop Tart long forgotten on the floor beside her, her mouth wide open while she watched them yell, "Swiper, no swiping!" over and over again. It made me want to scream.

"I'm going down to the feeders, Rose!" Adrian called from the foyer, and I got up, walking into where he was.

He was pushing his feet into shoes, and checking his pockets for his ID and keys. I rolled my eyes at him, amused, and reached up to retrieve the keys from the little hanging doo hickey we kept on the wall beside the door. "Looking for these?" I asked him, swinging them in front of his face.

He smiled and kissed me on the mouth, bowing my body against his. "I love you, Hathaway."

I nipped at his jaw and giggled when he grabbed for my waist. I jumped out of reach and blew a kiss at him before walking back into the kitchen, so I could see Arianna. She was still in the same position. I finished my cereal and cleaned up the kitchen, though it wasn't really dirty. I didn't cook, and neither did Adrian. We lived off of his mother's food, take out, and frozen foods. The cabinets' contents consisted of cereal, booze, and wine. Possibly some instant oatmeal and the occasional spider. Like I had promised Adrian, by the time he had gotten back, I had toast and a glass of orange juice set out on the table. The orange juice had been purchased with Adrian and Arianna in mind, as I preferred apple juice, or something way less tangy. Donuts were good with coffee.

While Adrian ate, he filled me in on the day's schedule. As we talked, I dressed Arianna, who wanted, of course, to match Mommy. So I had to explain to her that I wasn't wearing sweats all day long, and that she would look way prettier in jeans and a t-shirt. So, being a pain in the but, she insisted on overalls. If I had had any doubts about how they would look on her before, they were gone now. Though I hated them myself, she looked adorable in anything.

Adrian cleaned up his own mess and told me to go get dressed while he finished dressing Arianna, who kept running off every two seconds to get a new toy to show me. Even though she showed me the same ones every morning, I guess she was afraid I would forget they were there, and they would be lonely. Who knew how they cute little nut thought?

I dressed in jeans and a stretchy green cotton shirt, with a hoodie over it. I slid my stake in my belt, and placed a gun at the small of my back, knowing that we would be going outside of the apartment soon to meet Lissa at her and Christian's apartment. From there we would go hang out somewhere in Court, like we always did on Sundays. Lissa's son, Trent, got along just fine with Arianna, never mind the fact that he was a year younger.

Lissa attended the college near Court, like the Queen had wanted, and was in the beginning of her junior year. Christian was also attending college, but he was doing it from home so he could care for their son. On Sundays, we left the kids with Mia, who had moved back to Court a year ago after marrying a guy named Jason Erikson. She was pregnant now, but she was still happy to take the kids.

I smiled as I thought about all of this, pulling my hair back into a sloppy ponytail and heading out the door with my awesome boyfriend and beautiful daughter.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hey, Liss!" I squealed, wrapping my arms around my best friend's and charge's slender waist. She grinned happily and hugged me back.

She pulled away, and shook her finger at me, a fake scold crossing her face. "You didn't check in with me last night!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, really. We got back pretty late, and then Adrian had some things he wanted to discuss…" I apologized, and then, remembering mine and Adrian's 'discussion', I shut up before a goofy smile could give me away.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you two stayed up all night long 'discussing' important matters," Christian remarked, smirking.

Lissa waved off Christian's comment and just smiled. "I was joking, Rose. How is Arianna?"

I linked arms with her, and we walked slowly towards the nearest restraunt, which just happened to be a sub sandwich shop, Christian's and Adrian's favorite. "She's good. Oh, I gave her your guys' present last night, by the way. She loved it. She's been dying for another play makeup set."

Lissa laughed. "Yeah, I heard her babbling about it."

"Yeah, she all but hit me on the head over it last time we saw a commercial for it on TV," Christian put in, wrinkling his nose. "She's too strong for a three year old."

I nodded seriously. "Yeah, she is. She's learned that she can now tip over her toy box if she tries hard enough. And now she's in the process of learning how to pick up every single toy she spills."

Adrian slid an arm around my waist. "You are such a liar. You help her when she makes messes."

I nodded sheepishly as Lissa and Christian laughed at that. We sat down at a table near the exit, and I positioned myself so that I could keep an eye on everything that was going on, just in case. Just because wards kept the Strigoi out, didn't mean they kept the crazies out. Example one, me and Adrian.

"So, Rose, I'm going to need you tomorrow night. It's already clear with your boss, because it's a dinner with the rest of the royals. Adrian has to go too. We're discussing Moroi fighting with magic again."

I resisted the urge to groan, and then turned to Adrian. "Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

"I forgot," he said simply, and shrugged like it didn't really matter.

"Lissa," I moaned. "Do I really have to go?"

She hid a smile and nodded. "Yeah, there's a dinner involved. If it was just a meeting, you know I wouldn't bother you."

I shook my head. "Yeah you would. Besides, I'd be handed that shift anyway, just because you're my charge."

"Oh, you love me anyway. Quit complaining."

"Yeah.."

"Oh, yeah, Lissa?" Adrian leaned across the table, head in his hands.

"Yes, Adrian?" Lissa directed her attention to Adrian.

"Well, Rose and I were talking, and I told her this morning that I wanted to take her out for dinner tonight."

"Oh, that's great! Rose, you should've told me! I'll take Arianna for you."

I looked up, surprised. I remembered hearing what he'd said this morning, but I hadn't absorbed it until just now. We had ditched Arianna already today, why should we do it tonight?

"Adrian, we've already passed her off today."

"This is your only night off, Rose. And besides, I already have reservations."

I rolled my eyes at him, but he didn't see because he had already looked back at Lissa. "So, you'll take her?"

She nodded and made a funny face at Adrian. "Of course I'll take her. I love Arianna. Besides, she hasn't spent a night with me in months. She could use a night with her aunt."

I smiled. "Yeah, I guess she could. Thanks, Liss."

"It's no problem."

She gave me a weird look, and then said through the bond: _Rose! Why are you acting so weird? I think tonight might be the night!_

Okay, I was confused. I gave her a look, and then grabbed her hand, dragging her away from the table. "We'll be right back, guys!" I called over my shoulder.

"Okay, Liss," I said, pushing her down on a bench just outside the sub shop. "What do you mean, 'tonight might be the night'? We've already…you know…"

She giggled, and blushed. "I already know you've slept together. Obviously, I mean, look at Arianna. She didn't get those green eyes from you alone!"

"No, honey, she got those from you," I teased, and then said more seriously, "But Liss, honest, what do you mean?"

"I mean-"

"Guys, we just ordered the food. You might want to get in here before your ice cream melts, Rose," Adrian interrupted, poking his head out the doorway of the shop. He had a heaping tray of food in his hands, full of ice cream, sandwiches, and sodas.

"Ugh. Later, Liss. We will talk about this _later._"

She just smiled before following Adrian and me back to the table, where Christian was already attempting to maneuver a huge sub into his mouth.

"Whoa, Christian. We don't deep throat at the table, it's not polite," I said, shaking my finger at him like Lissa had done to me earlier. He mumbled at me around the mouth full of food, and then flipped me off.

I dug into my sub, which was a meatball sub loaded with extra mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce. Adrian knew how I liked my subs. I only got down half of it before I dug into my ice cream, which was chocolate.

Adrian laughed at me when I finally sat back, my stomach bloated with food and soda, almost groaning in satisfaction.

"Adrian, quit laughing at me…" I moaned, and sipped at my soda. "I'll punch you in your stomach."

"I'll throw up all over you," he said, and gave me a squinty eyed look that said he meant business. I just faked a punch, because I really didn't feel like getting his lunch dumped in my lap.

He smiled and kissed my forehead, and whispered, "Yeah, I'll get you tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I kissed Arianna's forehead, and smoothed her hair down. She gave me a watery eyed look. "Momma, I wanna stay with you and Dadda."

"I know, baby," I told her, but then she tackled my legs, squeezing around the back of my legs. The black dress I wore was strapless and sweetheart cut at the top. It hugged my torso, and flared out a little bit at the skirt, but not enough to make my butt look huge. I had seen Adrian practically eating it up earlier, so, going along with what he had said earlier, I had chosen this one to put on.

"Your mother and I are going out baby. We need grown up time," Adrian said softly, running his thumb across her cheek. He caught a tear and wiped it on a napkin he pulled from the nearby coffee table.

"I'll be good, Dadda!" she pleaded, and I looked up at Adrian with a sad expression on my face. Adrian crouched down and hugged her, burying his face in her hair. She giggled a little when he kissed her cheek noisily, but then a few more tears ran down her face.

"You are not a bad girl, Arianna. You're a good girl. Mommy and I just want some time to talk about grown up things. You get to stay with Aunt Lissa, anyway."

"Really?" Her face lit up, and she smiled a little.

"Yeah, sweetie. You get to go have fun," I promised. "I bet she'll even give you ice cream if you're nice and share your toys with her."

She smiled, and finally let us lead her out the door, over to Lissa's apartment. Lissa greeted us at the door with a hug and smiles. Through the bond, I sensed she was hiding something. I had figured as much anyway, because she had pulled Adrian aside earlier to talk. So, they were planning something.

We told Lissa what we had said earlier, and she smiled wider and told Arianna that that was true. Finally, we were able to leave for our reservations, arriving just in time, breathless and laughing.

I would say it reminded me of when we first fell in love, but it didn't, not at all. When we first got together, I wasn't in love with him. I had used him as a tool to forget…him. I couldn't even bear to think his name, let alone remember how we used to be together. When Adrian and I had first gotten together, I had been lonely and sad. And it couldn't have been helped if it weren't for Arianna.

We were directed to our table, and I looked around, sort of surprised. Adrian hardly ever took me to these kind of restaurants, as I preferred out of the way places, where we didn't get ogled at. This place, however, wasn't out of the way at all, but it wasn't a place where we would be ogled at, either. It was a place for both Moroi and dhampir, just not couples. But all kinds (except for humans, obviously) were welcome here.

The table cloths were a deep crimson, and the flower arrangements on the tables dripped with ivy and white roses, lined by soft white candles. The plates were plain, but the water glasses beside the plates had rose designs carved into the sides. The napkins were white and lined with red silk, folded into intricate designs.

Moroi and dhampir alike sat around tables, and guardians lined the room, both hired by the restaurant and private guardians. They weren't in tuxes, but instead wore soft cotton jackets that were square at the shoulders, and buttoned over a white shirt. They wore black slacks and shiny, uncomfortable dress shoes. I would be stuck wearing that get up if it had been Lissa and Christian dining here tonight.

"Do you like it, Rose?" Adrian asked from across the table.

I nodded, still staring around the room, my mouth hanging open. "Yeah…it's just a lot fancier than I'm used to."

He shrugged the observation off. "You deserve the best."

I smiled sweetly. "Adrian, a picnic would have sufficed."

He shook his head. "It's not the best. And besides, you wouldn't have dressed up so beautifully for a picnic."

I plucked at the hem of my skirt. "I don't know, Adrian. You might have gotten me to wear that gray and white bikini you bought me a year ago." I smiled seductively over the flower arrangement, and saw his green eyes darken.

"That's not fair. And besides, you'll love me so much after this, you won't have to wear a bikini."

"Is this a plot to get me naked, Ivashkov?" I said quietly, a smile turning up the corners of my mouth, not wanting my voice to carry throughout the nearly silent room.

"Maybe it is.." he trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence to my imagination.

"You and I both know that there's no need for a fancy dinner with candles and roses," I laughed, and reached out to touch one of the roses. I pulled back at last minute, for fear I would mess it up. Water pooled in little drips on the petals, looking like tear drops.

"Yeah, I know that," Adrian said, and looked up as the waiter came to our table. He ordered for me, as I had no clue what all of this rich food was. I trusted him enough not to get me anything even remotely close to goose liver or anything like that. He ordered champagne for both of us, and the waiter brought it not long after, and poured us each a flute.

I sipped at the bubbly liquid as I continued to look around the room. Adrian's hand slithered across the table, his fingers touching my wrist. I smiled, looking up at him, and set the champagne flute down, gathering his hand in both of my hands.

"I love you, Adrian," I whispered, kissing his knuckles.

"Well, I'll say I love you if you promise me one thing," he said.

Shocked, I just nodded. "Of course."

"Did you leave your badass equipment at home?"

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

He looked surprised. "Where are you hiding it?"

I chuckled, and motioned to my thigh. "My stake is strapped to my thigh. The gun is in my clutch."

He laughed. "Yeah, I can imagine how when you go to the bathroom and you look for your lipstick, and you accidentally pull out your gun instead."

"I'm not that stupid."

"I know," he gave me a lopsided grin.

"So, Ivashkov, do you love me, or not?"

He just gave me a secretive smile. "We'll see."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I nibbled at the last bit of food on my plate while Adrian glanced at the menu for something we would both like for desert. His nose scrunched up when he saw something, and I knew I probably didn't want to ask if even he was grossed out by it.

"Are you in the mood for chocolate?" Adrian asked me without looking up.

I snorted. "Adrian, when am I not in the mood for chocolate?"

He smiled with me. "Yeah, I know, dumb question. What I mean is, do you want this chocolate thing, or this strawberry thing?"

I glanced at the menu, and pointed at the chocolate thing, which looked a lot like a more expensive form of Better Than Sex cake. It made my mouth water just to look at it. He told the waiter what we wanted, and then took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair.

"Rose…"

I looked up from my champagne glass, which was freshly filled. "Yeah, Adrian?"

"You know I love you right?"

I nodded, and almost laughed. "Of course."

"Well, I…hell…I don't know how to go about this," he muttered under his breath, which was probably something I wasn't meant to hear.

"Just spit it out, Adrian, God," I chuckled, and my stomach flip flopped when I realized what he was about to do. _Tonight might be the night_,she had said, a mischievous glint in her eye. I hadn't known what she'd meant until now!

"I love you, Rose, with everything I own. My everything. And I love Arianna just as much, maybe even more. You know that. I would never hurt you…or make you do something you didn't want to do."

I nodded enthusiastically, hoping it wasn't just like one of those lame comedies where the guy takes the girl out, gets her all riled up, and then tells her he got the promotion. _But he can't say that,_ I assured myself._ He doesn't have a job._

"What I'm trying to say, Rose Hathaway…"

He pulled a black satin box out of his pocket, and knelt down on the floor, probably getting all kinds of dust on his pants. A bunch of people poked each other's arms and pointed our way, but I didn't care. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I smiled, and half choked.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh…Adrian!" I sighed, throwing my arms around his neck. My tears ran onto his tux, but I knew he didn't care. "Of course!"

And, through all the quiet that the restauraunt was supposed to be, everyone stood up and applauded, whether they liked it or not, simply because now they had something new to pass around Court. Ivashkov proposed to that slutty guardian that had his baby. Whoopee.

And I still didn't fucking care. All I knew was me and Adrian, hugging on the floor, and him sliding a dainty ring onto my finger. My hair clung to my face, getting wet with my tears, and I brushed it away, sniffling.

I pulled back, putting my hands on his shoulders, and asked, "Did Lissa know?"

He gave me a sheepish look. "I had to ask _someone_ how to do it right."

And I still didn't care. I cupped his face roughly in my hands and kissed him as passionately as was allowed in a public place, and that was with the exception that I had just been proposed to.

"Do you want to get out of here?" I asked Adrian, whispering against his lips.

He nodded, and kissed me again. "Not for that yet, though. I have some other plans for you tonight."

I grinned and gathered up my clutch, adjusting the way the gun looked in the bag, and waited while Adrian got our deserts to go, and gave the waiter a huge tip. I tried, and failed, to brush my hair with my fingers into some semblance of order while we waited and Adrian smirked at me from across the table.

I gave him a dirty look for that, so he plucked a white rose from the flower arrangement and tucked it behind my ear, his eyes twinkling. I blushed, (and I DO NOT blush easy) and looked away as he gazed at me as if I were the most beautiful thing in the whole world. In the universe. It was just….so powerful… It simply couldn't be explained.

We brought our deserts with us as we strolled along the garden outside the restaurant. We were still in Court, so even though I was a trained guardian, there were still eyes watching us no matter what. I got protection (any guardian did) on their day off at Court. Kind of one of the plus sides of living here. You never had to worry about yours, or your charges safety.

"Did I surprise you, little dhampir?" he murmured, his arm around my neck. His breath tickled my ear, and I leaned my head into his shoulder. His chin rested on my head.

"Duh, Adrian," I said, and held out my hand, inspecting the ring. It was white gold, with dainty diamonds circling the band, and a bigger diamond on the top, with two sapphires on either side. "It's beautiful…" I trailed off, wondering who he could've asked for my hand in marriage. Knowing him, he would have.

"What is it, Rose?"

I gave him a funny look. "Who did you ask for my hand in marriage?"

He laughed. "Oh, that was something that I never EVER want to repeat. It was your mother."

I could see the point in his humor and nervousness. "What was her reaction?"

He shrugged. "It was nothing…"

I pulled us both to a stop and put a finger to his chest. "Adrian Ivashkov, you tell me right this moment!" I glared up at him, and he just smiled.

"Whatever I went through, it was worth it for you," he said, pulling me closer to him.

"Adrian…" I said threateningly.

"All she did was threaten me and then show me her gun. And then she demonstrated what it could do on a nearby house plant. But other than that, things went just fine."

I narrowed my eyes. "She had no right!" I hissed, hands on hips. I pulled away from Adrian and gave him the death stare. "You should have told me that she did that!"

He sighed, exasperated. "It wouldn't have been a surprise, and besides, I knew you would react like this. I don't need to be protected from your mother, little dhampir."

Some part of my mind noted that he said, 'from your mother'. He probably said that because last time he had said he didn't need protection, I had walked with him outside the wards and 'disappeared'. He had freaked out completely because he was either afraid of getting attacked, or someone stealing me. I had assured him later that I wouldn't have been taken, because if they managed to over power me, they'd bring me back in a minute, due to my attitude. And then Adrian had told me that no, they'd probably shoot me instead.

"She still had no right."

"It doesn't matter, it's over."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

Adrian kissed my forehead. "Good, now do you want to finish our date?"

I grinned up at him. "Of course."

He sighed happily. "I have such a beautiful fiancée."

"Yeah, I know."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Adrian took me to the golf course. He said not to mind the fancy clothes, we'd find a way to clean them later. So we sat on the grass and ate our desert. Later, we lay down and watched as the sun began to come up, watching how the pink and yellow touched the horizon. Apparently, Adrian got bored, because the hand he had oh-so-casually place on my stomach before started moving downwards.

I giggled and grabbed his hand, turning and throwing my leg over his body. I leaned down and kissed his lips, and he laughed against my mouth. Then he pulled my arms out from under me and I collapsed onto his chest. His hair twisted between my fingers, his hands sliding up the leg of my dress, we kissed way too openly and way too seductively to be on a golf course in the middle of Court at dawn.

"Watch the stake, Adrian," I whispered, and moved his hand so I could unstrap it. I lay it carefully on the ground beside us. His lips had moved to my throat, and were moving hungrily to my collar bone, leaving me gasping and wrapping my legs around his waist.

"I love you, Rose," Adrian whispered, and then kissed me again, swallowing off my reply. His hand was far beyond just the skirt of my dress now, and his jacket and shirt were long forgotten on the ground beside my stake.

"I love you too, Adrian," I giggled, and then pointed up at the cameras. "But I am not having sex with you here."

He made a motion that said he didn't care about the cameras, and then leaned in to whisper, "What happened to wanting to spice up the sex life?"

I laughed. "I didn't mean 'Let's go have sex on the golf course while my colleagues watch and laugh and see me naked."

He frowned. "I didn't think of that one. C'mon, we'll go home, and then I can make love to you."

I sighed, propping myself up on one elbow. "We have to go get Arianna first," I reminded him, but he just shook his head.

"Lissa knew we'd want the night alone after the proposal, so she said she'd take Arianna for the night."

I hid a smile. "Great, my best friend knows I'm getting laid."

"You would have told her anyway," Adrian teased, and put his jacket around my shoulders.

"Nuh-uh-" I started to finish my sentence, but then I saw a dark figure crossing the golf course towards us. Just in case, I pressed my body up against Adrian, snatching up my stake. "Get back, Adrian."

He didn't answer, knowing that was for the best. I held the stake ready, and glanced around the golf course for more imposing figures. There was just the one.

And then, they got close enough so that I could see who they were.

"Oh! Guardian Harrison, hello." Guardian Harrison had graduated a year above me, and was constantly flirting with me. He worked with my group when I was working shifts for Court and not Lissa, and was pretty easy to get along with, so long as you didn't get in the way when he was fighting.

He winked, a smirk on his face. "Look, Hathaway, not that we don't enjoy the peep show or anything, but you're gonna have to get off the golf course before we all get in trouble. There's a bet going on whether or not you two will-"

I cut him off, not really wanting to hear the rest. "Umm..okay, thanks Harrison. We were just going."

He nodded, his eyes twinkling, and I grabbed Adrian by the shirt and got us the heck out of there before the blush could fully show in my cheeks.

In the elevator going up to our apartment, we fell against the wall, laughing. I hugged Adrian's jacket tighter around me, and we went into our apartment. It was quiet, cool, and slowly growing lighter through the tinted windows.

Adrian's fingers fumbled with my dress as he attempted to pull it off. I smiled and pulled away, easily undoing it and letting it fall to the ground. Adrian's eyes went the length of my body as I reached down and unstrapped my high heels, kicking them off.

We started where we had left off at the golf course.

I was lying across Adrian's chest, my dark hair covering my face. His breathing was soft and slow, so I knew he was still asleep without moving. His hand was pressed against my lower back, and his other arm was behind his head. I kissed his bare chest before slowly moving off of the bed, trying not to jostle him. He didn't stir.

The hot water of the shower was comforting, and I dreaded the work day to come. It was a little past five, and I had to check in with my boss before going to Lissa's around eight. As I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, Adrian walked into the bathroom, closing the door. I peeked around the shower curtain and laughed.

Adrian's hair was a mess, even worse than usual. He smiled at me and yanked back the shower curtain, stepping in. I rolled my eyes at him and stepped back.

"The drought, you know?" he commented, before his hands were at my hips, jerking me to him. His hands roved my slick body, and he kissed just below my ear, his tongue flicking out to touch the tender skin there.

"Thanks for the warning, Adrian," I moaned, and let him push me back against the wall. I pulled him closer to me, the hot water running over my skin and making the feeling of him against me that much better.

"You know if you get a shower the morning after, you're bound to get me in there with you."

"I have work…"

"I can make you forget work."

I had no doubts about that.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I rushed into my boss's office, out of breath and panicking. My hair was still damp, but brushed, and I was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt. I hadn't had time to do anything more elaborate.

He smirked when he saw me; no doubt he had been informed about last night. His dark brown hair covered one blue eye, and he looked way too young to be my boss. In fact, he was only three years older than I was. He hadn't graduated from St. Vladmir's, but he was a damn good fighter.

"I heard you got engaged last night," he said, gulping down his coffee.

I smiled to myself as I looked down at my left hand. "Yeah, I did."

"Congratulations. We thought the sex scene was a bit too much, though."

I blushed, and started to apologize, but he waved it off. "Hey, it's okay. At least someone is getting some around here. The rest are all pissy this morning."

I cleared my throat. "So, I just came to check in before I went to Lissa's. Do we have any new schedules?"

He nodded, and rummaged around on his desk before pulling out a file and handing it to me. "This is the setup for tonight's dinner. I will be there to supervise, but I expect you to help everyone get sorted out and in place."

I nodded. "Okay. I'll look over the file at Lissa's. Anything else?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, there have been a couple of Strigoi attacks in the area. There were no bodies, but the signs indicate that it was in fact a Strigoi. A young human couple snatched while they were walking their dog outside their home, a child playing basketball, the usual. Could you look into it and see if there is any need to tighten security for me?"

"Sure, no problem. I'll see you tonight."

"See you, Hathaway."

I flipped through the file as I walked out, not looking up to see where I was going. Which was probably why I ran smack into someone as soon as I got out into the hallway. I bounced back, but the guy's arms shot out and caught me before I could collapse against the wall.

I looked up to thank my savior, and stopped dead in my tracks. Why was this Moroi so familiar? His wheat colored hair was splayed across his face, complimenting the freckles that were splattered across his cheeks. He smiled, and line showed around his eyes.

"Hey," I said. "Thanks. I'm Rose Hathaway."

The Moroi held out a hand for me to shake. I did, and was surprised at how strong his grip was. "I'm Ivan," he told me, and cleared his throat. "Hathaway…that sound familiar."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's what I was just thinking. You look pretty familiar."

"Huh. Do we know each other from somewhere?"

I paused. "I don't know, did you go to St. Vladmir's?" I asked, but I knew that I hadn't seen him around school.

"The name rings a bell…"

I nodded, and glanced at my watch. "Um, I'm sorry to be rude, but I really have to go. My charge is waiting for me at her apartment."

"Oh, no, of course. I apologize. I'll see you around?"

I nodded. "Sure. See you."

I hurried off.

(Ivan's POV)

I turned around and watched her walk off, trying not to linger too much on the sensual sway of her hips. Shaking my head, I continued on up to hallway, peeking in rooms every so often to see if my guardian was in there. I couldn't get that girl off of my mind, though…I knew her from somewhere.

A dhampir with a cup of coffee in one hand and rifling through papers with the other hand sat in one office that I peeked in. Deciding to ask for more information on the girl, I stepped in and said, "Hello, I'm Ivan Badika. Do you know a girl named Rose Hathaway?"

The dhampir smirked. "Yeah, I do. She's a badass, that girl is."

I nodded. "I know her from somewhere, and I can't figure out where."

The dhampir snorted. "Dude, we all know her from our dreams, it's nothing to be confused about."

I laughed. "No, I mean her name sounded familiar."

"Well, she went to St. Vladmir's Academy.."

"Do you think I heard her name from a newspaper headline? Did she ever get any awards, get into trouble?"

The dhampir shook his head. "No…the trouble she got into wasn't something that they wanted to be publicized. "

I leaned against the wall. "What do you mean?"

He paused to take a drink of his coffee, and then continued, obviously pleased at having a distraction from the monotonous paperwork. "Well, first she kidnapped the last Dragomir, and took her away from school for like, two years. And then the school caught her and brought her back. No one really knows what she took her away for. But then, not long after she came back, she got involved with this guy, her mentor. He got sent away, to some other school. And that's when she got together with her current boyfriend."

I frowned. "What was the mentor's name?"

"Dimitri Belikov."

My eyes widened. "Wait, run that by me again?"

"Huh? Oh, his name? It's Dimitri Belikov. You should know him, I'm pretty sure he guards for your family now."

Oh. Shit.

YB


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

(Rose's POV)

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I had a soda in one hand, and the file in the other, sitting cross legged in a chair at Lissa's kitchen table. Adrian had picked up Arianna a while ago, leaving poor Trent alone again. Lissa and Christian sat with him in the living room. Christian was conjuring up fireballs and showing Trent how he could make the flames change colors. Trent was delighted with the game, and couldn't understand why he couldn't do it, too.

The set up for the dinner tonight was simple, really, but Peyton (my boss) hadn't put a guardian's name near the doors. There was only a blank spot, like he was expecting someone to arrive and fill the place.

Taking a long swig of my soda, I picked up my pen and made some notes on the paper, what time I wanted them in place, and how long they should stay there. The queen was supposed to be there, so her guardians would be coming along, but the dinner still required a ton of dhampirs to watch over the Moroi.

"Rose, are you okay in there?" Lissa called from the living room. She had picked Trent up, and now he was perched on her hip, happily playing with her hair. His dark black hair and green eyes were so beautiful against Lissa's skin; every time I saw them together I wanted to take a picture. Even after having a baby, she could still be a model.

"Yeah, Liss. I'm good. But who all is supposed to be at this dinner tonight?"

She walked in the room after putting Trent back down, and leaned against the kitchen table. She looked up in the air while she spoke. "Well, the royal families, of course, and then there are some dhampirs who are coming… I think it's some of the Badica's guardians who are gonna be working for Court. Abby Badica told me."

I grimaced. Abby Badica had been a cute, perky girl when in school, but she had gotten pregnant in her senior year, like I had, and dropped out. Her family supported her, but the Moroi who had gotten her pregnant just left. She was pretty lonely these days and would talk to anyone who would listen.

"What time do you have to leave to be at the dinner?" I asked Lissa, who was playing with a hole in her jeans. She looked back up at me, and I noticed something was wrong with her.

"Liss, what's up?" I asked.

She shook her head, biting her lip, and started to close off her emotions. Over the years, she had learned that if she concentrated hard enough, spirit enabled her to become practically invisible. She could mask her aura and appear not to have one, and her thoughts were virtually impossible to reach. That part sucked when I wanted to find out what she was thinking.

"Liss, seriously. What is up?"

"I have to be there by five," she said quietly, and slid off the table, walking back to the living room where Christian was still showing Trent fireballs. Confused, I just shook my head and decided that I'd get the thoughts from her when she wasn't guarding her mind.

I zoned out everything while I waited for four to roll around, because that was when I had to be there. I would be back here at five to pick Lissa and Christian up, and we could drop the kids off at Mia's again, since she wasn't allowed to attend.

I gathered up my file and empty soda can and called to Lissa, "I have to go get ready, Liss! I'll be back at five to pick you guys up!"

"That's not necessary, Rose," she yelled, coming into the foyer to talk to me.

"Yeah, it is. I have to, or I'll get chewed out. No ditching me, I'll find you. Besides, there's too many people coming into Court this evening. I will not leave you for easy pickings."

She winced at my choice of words, but I could see that she agreed.

"Okay. Thanks."

I nodded and walked back to my apartment, immersed in thought. Who had that guy been earlier? He'd be at the dinner tonight, because he was a Badica, but who had he been? I'd heard his name before, seen his face. And I knew he wasn't famous, because then I would have known who he was at first glance. As a guardian, I went over the royals' names constantly. Which was actually probably where I had heard his name. But that wouldn't explain where I'd seen him.

I hadn't even noticed that I'd walked into my apartment until I heard Arianna's voice greeting me home.

"Hewwo, Momma!" she yelled, and ran towards me. An immediate smile came over my face when I heard her voice. Her hair was messy from a day of play, and chocolate was smeared over her mouth. Adrian had been feeding her junk food before dinner again.

"Hey sweetie, where's your daddy?" I asked, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She turned and pointed to the living room, where Adrian was trying to repair a broken toy. He had super glue all over his arms and face and hands, where he had tried to push the toy's parts together.

"Adrian," I said, a huge smile on my face. I shook my head, trying not to laugh. He looked up and smiled, and then held up the toy.

"She threw it, and broke it," he explained, and I turned to give Arianna a stern look.

"Is that true, Arianna?" I asked.

She shuffled her feet, and hid her face in her hands. Sadly, she nodded.

"Honey, Mommy and Daddy aren't going to buy you a new toy everytime you break something."

"I know, Momma."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I wanted to show Dadda how far my toy could fly," she said simply.

I turned back to Adrian. "Forget it, Adrian. She's got to understand that she can't throw things. Just pitch it."

Arianna's eyes went wide with horror. "No, Momma!" she cried, and made to grab for the toy. "Dadda, that's _my _toy!"

"You broke it, Arianna," he reminded her. "It's all gone. It can't be fixed."

"I have to go get changed," I told Adrian. "Can you take care of this?"

He nodded. I went to the bedroom and got out the usual uniform that was required to wear to fancy events. The cotton jacket, the white shirt, the black slacks. Instead of those God awful shoes, though, I had bought myself some better black shoes that looked exactly alike. They were just more comfortable.

As soon as I was ready, we dropped Arianna off at Mia's, apologized for the state she was in, and booked it on out of there before Arianna could throw an even bigger fit. We arrived at the building they were holding the dinner in at exactly four.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this took so long, I've had a lot going on with exams and stuff. Thank you for being patient! PS-Dimitri does make his first apperance in this chapter. :p**

Chapter Nine

I shooed Adrian away while the other guardians crowded around me, wanted to know where to go. I glanced at the file, even though I had already memorized it, just to make sure.

"Alright. First, I want a check of the grounds and the building. Four groups should be good. Divide yourselves, you aren't four. Go on," I told them, and then took a look around at the remaining people. Guardians who didn't work at Court were crowded around the edges of the room, laughing and talking. I wasn't in charge of them, someone else was. I wasn't aware of who it was, but I needed to find out.

I strode over to them, tucking the file under my arm. "Hey," I said loudly, to get someone's attention. A guy with red hair and brown eyes gave me the once over and smiled.

"Hey."

I smiled, but moved to cross my arms over my chest, trying to be discreet about it. "Who is in charge of the guardians coming into Court from the outside?" I asked, and he frowned.

"Dude, we're not doing anything wrong. We aren't supposed to be in place until the Moroi get here," he whined, and I rolled my eyes.

"That's not why I wanted to know."

He brightened, and his eyes lingered on my chest again. "It's Guardian Nichols."

I nodded. Guardian Nichols was a hard ass and a pain to work with, but I'd make it through the night if he just kept away. "Thanks. Do you know where I can find him?"

"Yeah, he's in the back room."

"Alright."

I pushed through the swinging doors and found Ivan Badica and Guardian Nichols deep in discussion.

I knocked on the door frame, feeling awkward. "May I interrupt, Mr. Badica?"

He grinned when he saw who it was, and made a gesture towards Guardian Nichols, stepping back. "Go ahead, Miss Hathaway."

I smiled politely, and nodded at him in thanks. "Guardian Nichols, I need to know the details on the positions for guardians coming into Court with their Moroi."

"Only one will be working with us tonight, we don't need the others. They will be stationed around Court instead."

"I see," I said. "May I know his name?"

Nichols smiled wryly. "I'm pretty sure you know who he is."

I rolled my eyes. "No, seriously, Nichols. I'm kinda busy. I have to pick up Lissa soon, and Adrian is here."

I glanced at the stainless steel clock behind his head, surprised to see that it had already been twenty minutes since I had arrived.

"Alright, just don't be getting all googly eyed, okay? You still have a job to do."

I wanted to smack him. "Why in the hell would I be getting 'googly eyed'?"

"It's Belikov."

I almost choked. "Excuse me? I must have heard you wrong."

He shrugged, and gave me a weird look, turning to walk off.

I stumbled after him. "Nichols, how? I thought he was in Manhattan."

He waved me off. "I don't know all of the dumb details. I just know he's here, and he's in charge of things. Go on."

I let him go this time, staring blankly at the wall while my heart gave painful little tremors. Even after all the time I'd spent in Adrian's arms, I could still feel the brush of his fingers over my skin. I could remember how his hands had been like iron in a fight, but so soft…so gentle when loving. I knew how he loved my hair, and I brushed it back now, blinking away tears. Taking deep, calming breaths, I leaned against the wall, palms against it, forehead pressed to it, and closed my eyes.

_Calm down, Rose. He's gone. You're engaged. You have a baby. Remember Arianna._

Oh, but I could still feel the shiver down my spine when he whispered my name in Russian! I coughed a little, and ran my hand over my face. No, no, no…this couldn't be happening. Right when I got my life together and was happy, trouble came prancing back in.

But wait.

Just because he was here, just because of all the memories we shared, didn't mean I owed him anything. I didn't have to cry and moan and weep. I didn't owe him a chance to make it right again. He hadn't even tried to contact me after my graduation. He hadn't even sent a fucking congratulations letter! The most I owed him was a swift kick to the head. And that was all.

The little voice in the back of my head whimpered a little at the thought of not speaking to Dimitri, but I ignored it. I knew I loved him. But I loved Adrian and Arianna too. I loved Arianna more.

_She deserves the best, _I reminded myself, and turned, walking back out into the main area. Discreetly wiping under my eyes for any escaped tears, I looked around for any of the groups that might have returned. One had. I smoothed down my shirt and strode over, my head high.

Until I realized who they were circled around.

Despite my mental battle in the back room, my legs almost buckled. My stomach immediately went woozy, and my head spun. His eyes were focused on the paper he held in his hands, his strong, tan, amazing-

I stopped myself before I could go any further, forced myself to look at him as the enemy. He hadn't tried to mend the problems between us. He had left me hanging, empty, alone. He didn't care. I shouldn't care. Remember your daughter.

All thoughts of Arianna stopped when he looked up, and his gaze met mine.

My stomach dropped.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

I cleared my throat, looking away. Dimitri might have still stared at me, I didn't know. I instead focused my attention on my file, an empty gesture. I used it to look busy and act like I didn't care.

"Hathaway, what's the status on those attacks?" Peyton, my boss, came up behind me, his tobacco scented breath coming too close to my neck. I stepped away, closing the file. All too aware of Dimitri standing a mere ten feet away, I bit my lip.

"I haven't had the time to look into it yet. I promise to look into it tonight or early tomorrow."

"I would prefer tonight. I need to know, what with all the dinners that are being hosted this week."

"Yes, sir," I said, nodding my head at him.

"Oh, and as soon as the groups get back from checking the grounds, I need everyone in place. We might have to start early. The queen doesn't like to wait."

"Is she coming earlier than expected?"

"Yeah, she is." Peyton rolled his eyes, and then gestured over to Dimitri, lowering his voice. "You're going to be okay working with him, right? No fights?"

I swallowed back a string of profanity that I wanted to use to describe how I felt towards Dimitri right now. I smiled tightly. "Yes, I'll be fine. I'll have to be. He's more respected than I am."

Peyton nodded. "Yeah, he is. Oh well. Get to work for me, Hathaway." He clapped me on the back and walked away, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

My knees felt weak, knowing that soon I would have to talk to Dimitri to tell him where he would have to go. He was in guardian mode now, like I should be, and was talking quietly to a guardian whose name I couldn't recall.

The next group returned. Two more until I had to talk to Dimitri. I waited patiently, watching the clock go by faster than if I would have wanted to talk to him. To distract myself and keep the butterflies out of my stomach, I looked around for Adrian. I found him talking to Ivan Badica near the emergency exit.

He grinned and held out his arms to me when he saw me. I went to him gratefully, and then nodded politely at Ivan. "Hello, Mr. Badica."

"Call me Ivan, Rose. I'm not so snotty," he laughed, and held out a hand to shake mine. "Nice to see you again."

I smiled. "Nice to see you too, Ivan."

"So, I've met your fiancé! I didn't know you were engaged!" He said this as if we'd known each other for years and not just bumped into each other in a hallway. His face was warm, open, but he kept casting nervous glances in the guardian's direction.

"Yeah," I said, and smiled, looking up at Adrian. He pressed his lips to my forehead, and I leaned into him, not wanting to go back to the guardians to have to deal with my ex.

"Is he your charge, also?" Ivan asked, curious, and then quickly added, "Please excuse me if I'm being rude."

"No, not at all. And no, he isn't my charge. My charge is Lissa Dragomir."

His eyes widened. "She's the last Dragomir, isn't she?"

I shook my head. "No, she's recently had a son."

"Well, that's nice. Is she still with Christian Ozera?"

I nodded. Most people had a problem with them being together, because of the shame his parents had brought upon his family. Apparently, from the way Ivan said it, he had no problem with it. That was good. Fewer problems I had with him.

"So who is your guardian, Ivan?" I asked, more out of wanting to know for my job than wanting to know for myself.

"Oh, erm…"

My eye brows came together in confusion. What was wrong with him?

Suddenly, Adrian tugged on my arm. "Rose, I need to talk to you."

"Okay…" I said, and looked at Ivan. "It was nice talking to you again, Ivan."

"You too, Rose."

He didn't smile as we walked away. Instead, he stared over at the cluster of guardians again.

"What's up, Adrian?" I asked as he led me outside. He patted his pockets, looking for his cigarettes, and I gave him a look.

"I really need one," he pleaded, but I just shook my head.

"Please wait. So, what do you need to talk about?"

He ran his hand through his hair, shuffling his feet. "Rose, I know you're not gonna like this…"

I held up a hand. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

He gave me a startled look. "Hell no! I love you, Rose."

I smiled. "I love you too."

"Well, I'm not gonna beat around the bush." Adrian took a deep breath. "Belikov is back."

I nodded, my stomach twisting. I knew it caused him pain for him to remember how much I had loved (still love) Dimitri, and to remember how badly it had hurt me when he had left. To see how much that could affect someone and still love them no matter how broken they were….it was a lot. It meant a lot to me.

"I know."

"Are you okay with it? Because he's going to be here a while. As long as Ivan is here."

"What does Ivan have to do with it?"

He just looked at me. "Ivan is Dimitri's charge."

I closed my eyes, willing my world to just come to a stop, so I could step back and never press play again. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. I don't kid about stuff like that. Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes and nodded. "I'll be fine. I have you now."

He smiled, but his eyes were troubled. I glanced inside the door, and saw that all of the groups were back now. "I have to go get everyone in place," I told him, and gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Be good, Rose," Adrian teased.

I gave him a crooked smile. "Like that's going to happen."

I walked inside, and yelled out, "Hey! Listen to me! I'm going to tell you where to go, and you know what to do from there."

I avoided Dimitri's gaze as I began to hand out positions, checking and rechecking my file. I told everyone what drills where to be used should there be a breach in security, and just did my job. Until I finally reached Dimitri, that was.

"Hello, Guardian Belikov," I said coldly, and pointed to the empty spot beside the door. "You're there. You know what drills to use. Your job is to make sure everyone coming in the door is clean, and make sure everyone that is here is supposed to be here. Got it?"

He nodded. "How many are supposed to be here tonight?"

I checked the file. "Around 79 royals, plus the queen."

"Okay."

I glanced at the clock on the wall. "We have twenty minutes. You should get into place."

His eyes were blank, his mouth a thin line. I wanted to throw up after talking to him, but I held it together and grabbed Adrian. "We have to go pick up Lissa and Christian," I told him, and he nodded.

"Are you alright?"

I took a deep breath, and pulled him closer to me, kissing him hard. "I love you. I'm fine. I don't love him anymore, don't worry."

He smoothed my hair and kissed me again, lightly. "Okay, little dhampir."

As soon as I pulled away from Adrian, taking his hand, I caught a glimpse of Dimitri's face. He was staring at us, his expression a sort of twisted outrage and sadness. I ignored him and walked on.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

I pushed open the door, letting go of Adrian's hand, and peered into Lissa's apartment. "Liss?" I called, though I knew she was in the bedroom, brushing her hair.

"I'm in here, Rose!" she called, and I told Adrian to stay in the living room while I talked to Lissa. After Dimitri had been sent away, I had told her the whole juicy tale about Dimitri and I being together. Now, I wanted to vent to her about him being back before we ended up having to go face him again.

I flopped on Lissa's bed, and looked around the bedroom, to see if Christian was anywhere in hearing range. He wasn't. I groaned, staring up at the ceiling fan.

"What's wrong, Rose?" she said without turning around. She leaned forward to the mirror, inspecting her eyebrows for any imperfections. I threw my arms above my head and wished I could sink into this bed and never come back out.

"Dimitri is back."

She turned, but before I could even see the expression on her face, I caught wind of her thoughts. Guilty.

"Lissa…. Don't tell me you knew and didn't tell me…" I said, propping myself up on one elbow and narrowing my eyes at her.

"Rose, look. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't know how to tell you, and besides, it would have messed everything up for you! You just got engaged, and…"

I rolled my eyes. "Liss, its messing things up worse not having known." I sat up, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, I know that it messes things up. But if you would have known, you would have been worrying about it or backing out of work and hiding in your apartment with Arianna."

I nodded. I could kind of see where she was coming from.

"But still. It would have been nice not to have that shock my heart to death when I heard he was here from Nichols."

She wrinkled her nose. "Oooh…Nichols told you?"

I nodded again, making a pitiful face. "He was teasing me about it and everything. At least coming from you, I wouldn't have wanted to punch you in your face."

She shrugged. "You never know."

I rolled my eyes and stood, going to her mirror. Picking up an eyeliner and rolling it across the palm of my hand, I glanced up to see if my eyes looked particularly scary today.

"You don't need to look pretty for anyone, Rose. Adrian loves you just the way you are. Dimitri doesn't deserve you."

I sighed and set the eyeliner back down, tears welling up in my eyes. I crossed my arms across my chest, hugging myself, and leaned against the dresser. Sniffing, I leaned my head against Lissa's shoulder, who offered it. She stroked my hair while I tried to fight the tears that would surely alert Adrian to something being wrong. I couldn't go out there all puffy eyed.

At last, I conquered the tears, and felt pretty good about that. I hadn't been able to do that a year ago. Now, it was getting easier and easier every day.

Liss hugged me loosely around the waist, and then squeezed my shoulder. "It'll be okay, Rose. As long as you ignore him, he won't bother you."

But what if I sort of _wanted_ him to bother me…

I winced at how wistful that thought was, and pulled away from Lissa, flashing a painful smile. "We better go."

She gave me a sympathetic look which I ignored, and grabbed her wallet and keys from the bed. "Alright."

We found Adrian and Christian in the living room, playing video games. They barely looked up when we called their names, too absorbed in the game. They were trash talking so bad, I was immensely grateful that the kids weren't around to hear. They would have surely repeated it, knowing a full blow when they heard it.

"Ha!" shouted Adrian, pumping his fist in the air as he got a headshot. "Take that and shove it up your-"

"ADRIAN!" I said loudly, throwing the nearest object to me at him, which happened to be a bible….oops.

It clocked him in the back of the head, and he jumped up, dropping the controller. "Domestic abuse," he whined, rubbing the spot where the bible had hit him.

Christian laughed. "You've just been bitch-slapped by God!"

Adrian sent him a fiery look, which didn't really worry Christian at all, apparently, because he added a fit of laughter.

I rolled my eyes at the two and turned off the TV. "C'mon, or we're gonna be late."

Christian sighed. "Do I really have to go to this stupid thing?"

Lissa glared at him. "Yes, you do. Now get up and get your butt moving, or Rose will move you out that door faster than you can even think of hurting her with flames."

He winced and stood, stretching. I led the way out the door, and then took Adrian's hand when he caught up.

"You okay, little dhampir?" he asked quietly so the others couldn't hear. "You were in there with Lissa an awfully long time."

"Yeah," I said lightly, waving his observation off. "We just had some girl things to talk about. Nothing big."

"You can talk to me about anything, Rose. I won't be angry or upset in anyway."

I shrugged. "Nothing wrong to talk about."

He just looked at me, so I added, "But we could start talking about wedding plans." with a sly smile.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, which made walking kind of hard. I laughed and tried to pull away, but he leaned down and whispered, "We could skip this meeting, you know. Make some plans, buy that lingerie you might want to use on the wedding night…"

I shivered, but shook my head. "No way. With my luck, the Court would get attacked, and everyone would die. Besides, you just want me to demonstrate that lingerie."

Adrian nodded to himself, his eyes looking distant. "Yeah… I think I could sacrifice a few lives for a few moments to see you like that."

I elbowed him in the ribs and shook my head, then kissed his jaw. "No."

We followed Lissa and Christian into the building, still arguing about whether or not sex was worth dying for.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

While the Moroi were still being seated, and the queen walked into the room, all I was aware of was Dimitri's presence in the room. I know, I know, that made me both a bad fiancée and a bad guardian. When the meeting started, I snuck a glance in his direction, and saw that he was staring straight forward, doing that guardian thing of seeing everything and nothing at all at the same time.

I tried to do the same. The queen went up there first and babbled on about the weather and the continuing Strigoi attacks, and how guardian numbers were still plummeting. I almost fell asleep listening to that. But when a few of the other Moroi got their butts up behind the microphone, I perked right back up. I knew most of them, either from school or from talking to their guardians. A lot of them were starting to warm to the idea of Moroi fighting with magic, because it had been ground against their ears for so long.

I zoned out, trying hard not to look in Dimitri's direction. As the meeting dragged on, I had to close my eyes a couple of times from the temptation of looking at my former mentor/lover. Adrian glanced back at me a couple of times, probably to see if I was alright. I kept my face expressionless as I could, focusing on the clock behind the speakers' heads.

At last, the meeting ended. Of course, I couldn't leave for another hour. I had to make sure the queen got out safely, the rest of the royal Moroi got out safely, make sure the building was secure, and then go check in with my boss. And tonight, I had to look into the Strigoi attacks.

Instead, I sent Adrian with Lissa and Christian, assuring him that I would be okay, and that it would be awhile before I could come home. He should get Arianna home and in bed. I would see him tonight.

I said all of this because some part of me wanted to speak to Dimitri. The other part of me wanted to rub the fact that I was engaged to Adrian all in his face, and hang on Adrian's arm when Dimitri was looking. Because that's what he deserved, really.

But I still wanted to talk to him. And I knew damn well he wouldn't speak to me openly during work or when I was around Adrian. I signed off all the guardians to separate duties, leaving me free. I hadn't had to tell Dimitri what to do, Nichols had already given him a job.

I sighed and made sure the building was secure, hand on my gun and the other hand fiddling with the keys in my pocket. As I closed and locked the basement door, I heard something rustle behind me, the sound of clothing moving together. I turned swiftly, pulling out my gun and holding it in front of me, aiming, because no one besides me was supposed to be in the building. All of the guardians were supposed to be checking in with Nichols at the office.

It was a surprised Dimitri, hands in the air, his own gun dropped on the floor. His brown eyes were calm as he assessed me. I tucked the gun back into my belt, feeling sheepish. Whoops. Brushing back a strand of hair, I nodded at him.

"Hello, Guardian Belikov," I said quietly, my heart jumping, and made to move past him. I was too chicken to talk to him yet. I needed time. I needed to be married first so I didn't make mistakes. Hell, maybe I even needed Lissa or Arianna or Adrian with me. Anything but by myself, where I could cry.

"Rose."

I stopped, recognizing the tone in his voice as one that meant to stop and look at him. I dragged my eyes slowly up his body, not able to stop myself from looking, even though I tried to fill my head with thoughts of Adrian. He was still the same. Lean muscle, tall, powerful. Wound up, ready for a fight. I grit my teeth and met his gaze.

"Yes?" I asked politely, my eyes cold and hard. No remorse or sadness in this face. Oh hell no. Not around him.

"We need to talk."

"I'm working. I have to research tonight, and I have to get my daughter to bed."

He looked surprised. "Daughter?"

That pleased me to no end. So he didn't know I had a daughter? Thanks a lot. Thanks for keeping in touch, asshole.

"Yes. She spends enough time without me, I'd rather get back to her." I put a hand on my hip, cocking my head to the side. "Unless there was something work related you needed to discuss?"

He paused. "Well, the research you're talking about, I've already looked into it. I had to look into it before I got here, and I overheard the conversation between you and Guardian Peyton…so I went ahead and told him. You're off the hook. He told me to come and tell you."

It was my turn to be surprised. "Oh. Okay."

He smiled a crooked smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "What, no smartass comment?"

I looked away, my heart giving a painful little shudder at the smile. "I've changed."

He moved towards me, and I stepped backwards, my back hitting the wall. He continued to come closer, until he stood close enough that I could have easily extended an arm and touched his shoulder.

"I know. But we still need to talk, anyway."

"We have nothing to talk about."

Anger marred the features of his face. "The hell we don't."

I stepped towards him, so close that I could smell that aftershave I had been (was still) in love with. "We don't."

Guilt now shone in those brown eyes. "Look, Rose…I'm sorry, I couldn't…I didn't want-"

I held up a hand. "No. You may have been sent away, but you could have kept in touch. You could have sent a letter. You left me to a stranger I barely knew, and he was the one to comfort me. You didn't even send a congratulations for graduating on time. Do you realize how fucking fucked up that was? Do you? Because it doesn't seem like it, Belikov. You seem like you think you can come back, apologize, and it'll all be okay. A bad nightmare." I leaned closer, really got in his face, the way he hated it. "But it isn't that way. You fucked up. I'm done."

I stepped back, turning again to walk away. His hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder, and, on instinct, I grabbed that hand and twisted it, fast as a snake striking. But not so fast that he didn't anticipate it, as he always had.

He smiled as he pinned me to the wall. "That was good, Roza. But I do need to talk to you, and I won't be ignored."

I sort of growled a half formed response at him, pissed off, but I couldn't say much else, because of the smell of him. The smell of his aftershave, the smell of his skin! It was almost overwhelming. That night in his room, the night of the charm, it all came back to me as his long, lean body pressed to mine. Never mind that he was just pinning me here and it was nothing sexual, I still craved every inch of his body.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't send anything to you, your mail was being watched. I couldn't have any kind of contact with you, or I would have gone to jail for it. You were underage, and also my student. I shouldn't have been interacting with you in that way. And I want you to know, that even after all this time, I still love you. I'm saying this because I need you to know, and I have no intention of breaking you and Ivashkov up. I just need you to know that I didn't not get in contact with you because I was angry or didn't love you. It was because I couldn't."

"I was overage the date of my graduation. You couldn't have sent a letter?"

"I assumed you had moved on. And you obviously had. I had heard some rumors…and it looks like they were true. You had Ivashkov's child."

"Adrian has a name. And so does his child. Her name is Arianna."

He nodded. "Arianna. Beautiful."

"She is."

"I bet."

"I have to go."

"I'm sorry, Roza."

I just shook my head. "Even if I had moved on, it would have been nice knowing you hadn't just forgotten about me."

"It's too late now."

Tears welled up in my eyes, so I looked away. "I guess it is. I kind of wish you hadn't done that."

What was I saying? What was I fucking doing? I couldn't tell him it hurt…I couldn't say that. I had to act like a bitch, I had to act cold and distant. This was NOT cold OR distant!

"You're engaged to Adrian Ivashkov?"

I nodded, wincing internally as the first of the tears spilled over. I wasn't strong enough tonight. I was losing this battle.

"Do you love him?"

I coughed a little and wiped at my eyes. Glaring at him through the tears, I said, "Does it matter? Like I said, you can't just come prancing in here and ask for me back. It doesn't work like that."

"Do you love him, Rose?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do. And I love my daughter even more. She deserves a father that wouldn't just not talk to me. Adrian is devoted, at least."

"I didn't not want to talk to you."

"We've gone over this."

"Then why are you still accusing me?"

"Because. After all the pain, all the heartbreak, I expected at least an apology. You know, a little letter saying that you were sorry you kissed me, told me you loved me and no one else, and then you just didn't contact me ever again. Not even when I was over aged and away from St. Vladmir's."

"I still love you, Roza."

"I understand that."

"Do you love me?"

I looked away, at the wall. "I have Arianna now. She needs her real father."

"So you love me."

My eyes rolled of their own accord back to Dimitri. "What do you fucking think?"

I walked away, tears falling freely down my face.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

It had been five days since the confrontation between Dimitri and me. I grunted as I punched the guy in front of me, wishing I didn't have to wear these stupid protective gloves. What I wanted was teeth gritting, raw, bloody combat. I didn't want safe little practice with the rest of the guardians. The other guardians stood around the room, watching, occasionally booing or cheering.

Music pulsed through the room, but this was an anomaly. We weren't usually allowed to play music, for fear it would disturb the Moroi. I turned and kicked the guy, knocking his legs out from under him. He fell to the mat with a loud _oof._

I stepped back and waited for him to get up, holding out a hand to help. He grabbed it and hoisted himself to his feet, smiling. "You still got it, Rose. I figured since you haven't been practicing lately, you would have lost your touch."

I shook my head and grinned. "Nah. I still got it."

The onlookers cheered, and then pushed forward another guy. The way we usually did this was, based on the guardian's wishes, we decided whether or not we wanted protective gloves, and when a guardian lost, another was pushed forward. The winner had to fight until either he couldn't fight anymore, or until they lost.

The guardian that was pushed forward was Nichols, and he smirked as he motioned for me to take off the gloves. I didn't know why he was smirking, he never had beat me. He'd come close a couple of times, but my training had apparently gotten through to me better. He was good, but he still couldn't beat me.

I laughed, throwing the gloves aside and swiping a sweaty strand of hair aside. Adjusting my sports bra and pulling my jacket off, I threw that aside too. The next song started just as he threw his first punch. I ducked.

-Dimitri's POV-

I leaned against the wall, watching with reserved eyes as Rose pulled off her jacket. This surprised me a little bit, because she was wearing only a cut off tank top and a sports bra underneath. The sheen of sweat on her stomach was clearly visible. Her black sweat pants were drawn tight around her hips.

As the first lyric of the song played, Nichols threw his first punch. Rose ducked it easily.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._

_I still feel your touch in my dreams._

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_

_Without you it's hard to survive_

I closed my eyes, wishing this song would stop playing right now. Rose didn't seem to notice the lyrics of the song as she got more into the fight, her face becoming a perfect sign of concentration. Her eyes narrowed at Nichols.

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side._

I bit my lip, crossing my arms tight over my chest. The guy next to me, who I vaguely recognized from my brief time at St. Vladmir's nudged my arm. He leaned closer to me, and said, "Hey, that's Rose Hathaway, right?"

I looked at him, surprised. "Um. Yeah. That's her. Why?"

"Aren't you Dimitri Belikov?"

I nodded, hardening my face, so he wouldn't see the pain at our names being said together. "Yes, I am. What about it?"

"Didn't you two have a thing?"

I looked away, back at the way she moved as she leapt, twisted, turned, kicked, and punched. She was beautiful. "Yes, we did."

"Why the hell did you let go of _that_?" His expression was awed as he watched her move, likely seeing how her slim body moved against Nichols'. He licked his lips slowly, moving to adjust his shirt.

I shrugged, and muttered, "She moved on to better things. She has another life now."

_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._

_I can't let you go._

_Want you in my life_

"Dude…I wouldn't just let her go…." he told me, and then eyed her again like she was dessert. I resented that, but thought his advice was pretty good.

We had been so amazing together… I loved her like there was no tomorrow…how could I not? As smart, fast, fierce and gorgeous she was? And I knew she still loved me. She had all but admitted it. She had been in pain, I knew it. And it wasn't just from me being a dick, either.

I looked at the guy with an appreciative look, and then patted him on the back. "Thanks, man."

The song ended then, and Rose finally pinned Nichols to the ground. I pushed through the crowd, murmuring to the guy by the stereo that I wanted a specific song. Her face hardened when she saw me come onto the floor. Everyone nudged each other, and I could imagine what they were saying.

The song came on.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

_I see you driving 'round town _

_With the girl I love and I'm like, _

_Forget you! _

_Oo, oo, ooo _

_I guess the change in my pocket _

_Wasn't enough I'm like, _

_Forget you! _

_And forget her too!_

I saw Dimitri come onto the floor, and the first thought that came to my mind was, _He's still got it too. I can tell by the way he walks._ And then I made my expression as hard and mean as I could, not wanting him to get any wrong (very right) ideas.

He tossed aside his own jacket, revealing the gun and stake in his belt. It didn't bother me now, I had my own toys to show off. It did bother me, however, when I realized what a tight shirt he was wearing. I could see every line of muscle, every ripple. I almost shuddered with the wave of desire that trampled me.

I realized the song on the stereo. My second thought was, _My God. Fucking REALLY?_

_I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya _

_Ha, now ain't that some sh*t? (Ain't that some sh*t?) _

_And although there's pain in my chest _

_I still wish you the best with a... _

_Forget you! _

_Oo, oo, ooo_

I came pretty close to laughing as I advanced on Dimitri. Everyone was whispering on the sidelines, maybe about our unusual relationship, maybe just whispering just because. I threw the first punch. He blocked. I threw the second punch. He blocked again.

Now, we both knew that this was just warming up. We knew each other's moves, and he definitely knew mine, as he had taught them to me. Our dance became faster and faster, more graceful. We twisted and turned around each other, throwing punches, receiving kicks.

_I see you driving 'round town _

_With the girl I love and I'm like, _

_Forget you! _

_Oo, oo, ooo _

_I guess the change in my pocket _

_Wasn't enough I'm like, _

_Forget you! _

_And forget her too!_

I fell to the ground, and Dimitri was immediately on top of me, pinning me. I elbowed him in the face, and rolled sideways. He only took a second to respond as I leapt to my feet, realizing that he was in a vulnerable position.

_Now I know, that I had to borrow, _

_Beg and steal and lie and cheat. _

_Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya. _

_'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap. _

_I pity the fool that falls in love with you _

_(oh sh*t she's a gold digger)_

I wanted to do that cool one eyebrow thing everyone but me could do because of the lyrics, but I would just have to suffice with a harder kick. I did so. He didn't even wince.

_Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad? _

_(so bad, so bad, so bad) _

_I tried to tell my mamma but she told me _

_"this is one for your dad" _

_(your dad, your dad, your dad) _

_Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh! _

_Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh! _

_I still love you. Oooh! _

_I see you driving 'round town _

_With the girl I love and I'm like, _

_Forget you! _

_Oo, oo, ooo _

Finally, I pinned him down to the ground, my body pressed against his, one of his legs pressed in between mine. I was breathing hard, my arm to his neck, and then as soon as we both knew that he had lost, I jumped up. Reaching up to tighten my ponytail, I shook my head at the next person that stepped forward. I walked out of the building, grabbing my jacket and ignoring Dimitri as he followed me.

"Rose, stop. I need to talk to you."

"We've already talked."

I strode forward, not listening him. I just wanted to get away as fast as I could before the tears could start trickling down my cheeks. I didn't want him to see me cry again. That was just too much.

"No, I need to let you know something."

I stopped, and poked him in the chest. We were standing in the middle of Court, and it was starting to rain. The first few drops splattered on my face as I looked up at him, glaring. "You left me, Dimtri! I don't owe you anything, I don't have to talk or listen to you! Just leave me alone. I don't want anymore heartbreak. I'm with a guy I love, and I have a beautiful daughter. I'm engaged….I just want to go on with things as if you never got here at Court."

Dimitri grabbed my hand. His eyes were pleading, and because of the rain, it almost looked like he was crying. But Dimitri didn't cry. He never cried. "No, Rose. I want to know if you love me."

I let out a strangled cry and shook my head, but that wasn't my answer. I didn't want to do this. I wanted a happy, normal life where I didn't have to love my ex-mentor and still love my fiancé at the same time. "I don't want to answer that. It'll ruin everything."

"So you do love me?"

"Was there ever anything to make me stop loving you?"

"Then please, Rose. Think about what you're doing. We were fantastic together, and you were happy. I was happy. I love you so much, Roza. Words can't possibly explain it. I don't want you to marry him. And if you do end up marrying him, I'm not letting you do it without me fighting."

"I don't want you to fight. I just want to be left alone. Adrian can give me everything, and be a good father to his daughter. Arianna deserves so much more. She doesn't know you, and she loves her dad. I love Adrian."

"But you love me too."

"And you left, remember? You threw things away when you didn't contact me. It would have been extremely nice to know if you had loved me still back then, but today it's just too much."

He nodded, but didn't look like he agreed. When he opened his mouth that was confirmed. "No, Rose. I'm not leaving you alone. I'm going to fight for you, and please think about what you're doing. When you go to sleep tonight, think about it. Please. I don't want you to end up regretting what you did today, what you do on your wedding day."

"Dimitri."

"You love me, right?"

I closed my eyes, and rubbed my temples. "Please."

"Just think about it."

"Can we talk about this later?"

He smiled. "Sure. Do you want to come to my apartment tonight?"

I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be doing this…

"Yes. Ten o'clock."

He nodded. "Ten o'clock."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Why did I want to look good? I had kissed my soon-to-be husband on the cheek, but I hadn't told him where I had really gone. I had tucked Arianna in at eight o'clock with a kiss on the forehead and a smile that had the teensiest bit of nervousness hidden in the corners, and the proceeded to take a shower and apply makeup.

I had curled my hair, put on extra mascara, and worn a blouse and nice but comfortable jeans, even. My cheeks were pink with excitement, my eyes wide, and my heart fluttering with nervousness. I kept looking behind me, over my shoulder, convinced that Adrian was following me to Dimitri's apartment. Adrian thought I was going to do some overtime with Court, to gain some more money for the wedding. Not that it really mattered. Whenever Adrian needed money, he tapped into his family's funds. I didn't like to though, and insisted on just using what I earned, which was pretty good.

Because I worked here for a royal, I got housing for free. That kept a lot of stress off of my shoulders. I didn't know why I hadn't told Adrian where I had gone. It wasn't like there was anything that was going to happen tonight. Adrian trusted me. And I felt guilty for that, with all these thoughts going through my head.

I felt my stomach flip flop as I clicked up the stairs to Dimitri's apartment. I had worn low sling back high heels, and painted my toenails crimson red. My nails matched, though there was no reason in me having them painted. They would start coming off tomorrow.

I raised my hand to knock on his door, and I saw that my hand was shaking. Ordering myself to stop being such a scaredy cat, I went ahead and knocked, and then stood there and felt awkward. It took him a couple of seconds to answer the door, and I heard his footsteps coming through the rooms to the doors.

When he opened the door, I had to take a step back and clearly focus on his face. He was shirtless, wearing Levis low on his hips, his feet bare. His hair was loose, curled damply around his ears. He had gotten out of the shower not too long ago.

"Hello, Rose."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "Hey."

He stood aside, waving me inside. "I apologize for the shirtless state, I didn't expect you for at least fifteen minutes."

I glanced at my watch, confused. It was ten-oh-five. I looked back up at him to see that he was smiling.

"You know, because you're always late?"

I rolled my eyes and faked a punch on his arm, and then went and sat down on the couch. Since his apartment was temporary, there wasn't the clutter and decorations that there were like in my apartment. Of course, he didn't have a baby, either.

Dimitri stood in front of me, and ran a hand through his hair. "Uhh.. Do you want something to drink?"

I laughed nervously. "Sure."

"What do you want? I have soda, wine, juice, water…"

"Whatever you're having is fine."

He left to the kitchen to get us something to drink. Because the layout of his apartment was the same as my own, I could see him as he walked about, getting mismatched glasses, pouring wine into them from a bottle he retrieved from under the counter.

He carried them back into the living room, and I pretended not to be looking. He handed me a glass, and I thanked him quietly. He sat down on the other side of the couch, one leg under him, his back to the arm of the couch. I curled up in a ball on the other side, staring at the floor and sipping at my wine.

I sighed and rested the glass on my leg. "What did you want to talk about, Dimitri?" His eyes flickered to me, and then back at the glass he was holding. He cleared his throat.

"Why don't you tell me about Arianna first?" he said, which surprised me.

"Umm..what about her?"

"How old is she?"

"She just turned four."

"Adrian is her dad, right?"

I glared at him over the lip of my glass. "Yes, Dimitri. I am NOT a whore."

He put his hands up. "I was just asking. It wouldn't be the first time a dhampir had a baby and ended up with a guy not her father."

"I guess. Go on."

"Tell me about her."

"Umm… Well, when she was two, she grabbed a cat by its tail, and it scratched her. She didn't actually cry, she just told off the cat and then sobbed a little. It was actually kind of funny, if it hadn't scared me half to death."

Dimitri smiled. "Yeah, that would scare any parent."

"Oh, and when she was first born, Adrian had no clue what to do with her. Because I was just becoming a guardian and everything, I didn't want to take too much time off, which left him with most of the work. One night I came home and he was sitting on the couch, pulling his hair. Arianna was crying in the bedroom, and he didn't know how to make her be quiet. It turned out that he had put her onesie on wrong, and it was too tight on her legs."

"Sounds like that was stressful."

I nodded, remembering. "Before she was born, I had some complications with the pregnancy. I had been bleeding, you know? And you're not supposed to. So we went to get it checked, and Adrian was soo scared. He held my hand so tight, my fingers went numb. He really cared, and that was when I knew he would be a good father. When it turned out to be okay, he almost passed out with relief."

Dimitri didn't have a response, but it felt so good to tell him all of this, that I continued.

"And on her first birthday, we brought her to the mall, so I could go shopping for her birthday presents, and get a cake that she could have to herself. While I was shopping, Adrian and Arianna disappeared. I got so freaked out that I started screaming at the cashier because she couldn't tell me where they had gone. I thought a Strigoi had gotten them, and I just hadn't seen. Well, it turns out that Adrian had seen two matching necklaces for mother and daughter, and he had slipped off to get it. He had just wanted to surprise me. Arianna just now got big enough so that hers would fit her. "

"You sound like you really love her."

I nodded, and took another sip of my wine. "Yes, of course. She's my whole world. I don't know what I would do without her."

"Adrian, too."

I just looked at him. "Yes, I love him."

"Do you think that you just began to love him because of Arianna?"

I shook my head, and drank the rest of my wine. "No, of course not. I love him for him, not for his daughter. Our daughter."

"Why did you start going out with him in the first place?" Dimitri asked, and then added, "I'm just curious, is all. No offence intended."

I shook my head again. "No, it's alright. A lot of people have asked that. But…you may not want to know the reasons, Dimitri. They aren't…..honorable at all."

He rolled his eyes. "Honorable? You? Yeah, right. Just tell me." He smiled a little, and then downed the rest of his wine, taking my glass. He stood, stretching, and then walked to the kitchen. I followed so we could still talk.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

I leaned against the counter while he retrieved the wine from the refrigerator, and refilled the glasses. He handed me mine, and I set it on the counter.

"Thanks. I didn't know you drank, actually."

"Only when I'm not working."

"Well, duh."

He took a sip, and then leaned against the counter, too.

"So, continuing that conversation…" he trailed off, and looked expectantly at me. I ran my hand through my hair, and looked at him.

"Well… I'm serious; you don't want to know the reasons. They are kind of stupid and really embarrassing."

He sighed. "Just tell me. I won't laugh."

"I'm not concerned about you laughing…. It's just that nobody, not even Lissa, knows." I swallowed, wishing I had just told him some lie about having wanted to try new guys.

"Well, just tell me. I won't tell anyone, promise." He made a zipping motion over his lips, and then locked them. He threw the key over his shoulder. I laughed, and then held out my hand, little finger extended, for a pinky promise. He hooked his pinky around mine, and I laughed again at the childishness of the gesture.

"I got together with him because I wanted to forget you. I didn't want to be by myself and wallow in the thoughts…it was just too much."

Dimitri kept his expression neutral. "You gave up your virginity to him because you wanted to forget me?"

I nodded, but then added, "Well, I did like him… I just didn't love him at the time."

"That is NOT a good reason to have sex with someone. How many times did it take until Arianna was conceived?"

I held up one finger, biting my lip.

"Should have used a condom."

I rolled my eyes. "Arianna is not a problem at all. I love her and don't regret her one bit. And besides, I didn't have the sense at the time to use a condom."

"I wasn't saying she was a problem. And are you saying you were drunk, or just ignorant?"

"Drunk."

"Rose… Why? You could have… I don't know. Talked to Lissa. Talked to Adrian…. Hell, talked to Christian, if that's what it took."

"She didn't ruin my life at all, Dimitri."

He shook his head. "That's not what I'm trying to say. You gave up your virginity out of desperation. You wanted to forget me, and apparently it worked. But that wasn't the way to do it."

"I know. But I still don't regret it."

"I understand."

"No you don't. You don't have kids."

He shook his head. "No, I guess I don't. Not completely. But I do know about loving someone so much that you don't regret a single thing about them."

I looked away, embarrassed. "Oh."

"I don't regret you. Even if it did really hurt my career."

"But you still got to teach at a school."

"Because it was an all guys school."

I laughed. "Who's to say you're not gay?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Do I look gay to you?"

I looked him up and down. No, he didn't look gay at all. He looked sexy and gorgeous and amazing and athletic and tan… "Being gay isn't based on appearances."

He laughed. "Yeah, I know. But I assure you, I'm not gay."

"Okay. Well, what else did you want to talk about?" I checked my watch. It was 10:45. Getting kind of late…

"Well, I just thought that we should catch up. How am I supposed to fight for you if I don't even know who you are these days?"

"I really don't think you should…fight for me."

"Why not? I love you and don't want you to marry Ivashkov."

"I think if you really loved me, you would have contacted me whether or not I had moved on."

He shook his head. "Not true."

"I think so."

"I love you. If I didn't love you, I would have persisted, and bugged the hell out of you until you hated me. But I loved you, so I hoped you had moved on to better people and made a good life. You couldn't have started a good life with me. I can't give you children. The only thing I can give you is a promise to a good career, and all my love. But I think the all my love part is worth it."

I was starting to get mad again. "I don't care. I wish you would have called. Written. Done something! Maybe even have come to see me. I hurt, Dimitri. It would have been so much better."

"I'm sorry! All I want is you, you have to believe that."

"I don't fucking have to believe anything, Dimitri," I growled, slamming the glass down on the counter. Wine sloshed out onto the countertop, but we were both far from noticing. Licking my lips, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. "I shouldn't have come here. It was a mistake."

"No, Rose-"

"Dimitri, seriously. If you wanted to be with me, you would have proved it. You wouldn't have just left me."

I walked out of the kitchen, heading for the front door. "Rose!"

I didn't answer. "Rose, please… Please listen to me."

My hand was on the doorknob. I turned it, stepping out of the apartment. His hand closed around my wrist, and I whirled around…

His lips crushed mine before I could say anything else. I lost track of the world. I lost track of my purpose. I forgot who I was, my name, where I lived… None of that mattered. My arms went around his neck, and he pulled me to him, his hand finding the small of my back, jerking my body. My body pressed against his, my fingers wound in his hair, his tongue found its way into my mouth, and I all but melted into a puddle at his feet.

He pulled me back in the apartment, and shut the door with his foot. We fell against the wall, my back to it, and his hands found the hem of my shirt. I gasped, and pulled away, realizing what I was doing.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

He whispered that he was sorry, and started to step back, but his breath brushed my lips, and I lost myself again. Knotting my hands deeper into his hair, I pulled him to me. I felt my back slam against the wall, but there was no pain. He lifted me up, my back still to the wall, my legs around his waist, and lifted my shirt up and over my head. I was left in a red bra, high heels, and jeans. Wow.

His mouth moved to my shoulder, and I was able to catch my breath, fumbling with the button on his jeans. I finally got it undone, so I let myself drop, landing on my feet, so I could yank them down. He stood there above me, hands on the wall, gasping for breath as I kissed just above the waistband of those jeans, which were already pretty low.

He reached down and unsnapped my bra as I inched the denim down his legs with kisses. It fell to the ground, and I stood again, kissing Dimitri and loving the feel of his skin on mine. I knew what I was doing was insanely wrong, and stupid, and crazy, but I continued anyway. I was too far gone to even care.

His hands were on either side of my head, and my jeans had been yanked off, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at him wide eyed, because I was standing there in panties and high heels, and then began to gather up the clothes. There wasn't much, thank God, because Dimitri answered the door almost as quickly as I got my ass out of that hall. I retreated to the bedroom, kicking off my high heels.

And then I heard the voice, who it was. Oh God…Oh God… Please don't come back here… I silently prayed. It was Adrian. From the sound of it, he had come here to make peace with him, not to do anything worse. He didn't know I was here.

Well, this was awkward. Dimitri was standing there in black boxers, and Adrian was probably dressed in very nice clothes.

I shut up my thoughts and leaned closer to the door so I could listen.

"…she isn't over you," Adrian was saying, and I could imagine the look on his face as he said it. It would be one that was carefully reserved, because he wouldn't want to show the pain around Dimtri. "I know that she isn't. But I don't want there to be a million problems going on between the three of us, so I came to end my half now. I don't want to cause a fight."

"I agree completely, Ivashkov," Dimitri said. "I don't think fighting would be very good for the, ah, wedding. And besides, don't you two have a daughter?"

I knew Adrian would be beaming now. "Yes, we do. Her name is Arianna Hathaway."

"I bet she's stubborn."

Adrian would roll his eyes. "Yeah, she is. If you tell her she can go play, she'll sit there with you. You tell her she can't, and there she goes. She's impossible."

Dimitri laughed now. "Sounds like Rose."

"Yeah, actually, it does. Now. I don't think there's really going to be any problems between you and me unless you have any intentions of messing with Rose."

I knew Dimitri wouldn't like to lie, but I also knew that he would. He wouldn't sell me out back here, half naked. I bit my lip, half of me not wanting to hear what he had to say, and the other half straining with all I had to catch it.

"No, not at all. She holds no interest for me."

That hurt, even though I knew it wasn't true. I winced, tucking my hair behind my ear and grabbing my shirt. I pulled it on, realizing that I had to go before this went any further. Even if I did love him, and he did love me, we couldn't be sleeping around behind Adrian's back. That was just going way too far.

I waited for them to finish their conversation, dressing as I did so. I had to brush my hair with a brush I found on Dimitri's dresser, and then fluff it back into some semblance of order, but I looked about the same as I had when I'd come here. I checked to make sure nothing was on backwards, because with my luck, it would be, and Adrian would guess immediately what was going on.

Dimitri came into the room, and took one long look at me. His eyes were careful again. He had known he would come back here and find me ready to leave. I stared at the floor, not wanting to say anything, embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry, Roza. I shouldn't have…. We shouldn't have…"

I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes. Damn it, I had known this was going to hurt. Slowly, I walked towards him and pressed my mouth to his. Lightly… not too much, or the fire might ignite again.

"Are you going to tell him?" Dimitri asked quietly, and I hugged him around his waist. His breath moved the hair on top of my head, tickling my scalp.

I shrugged hopelessly. "I have no clue. I should. I shouldn't keep a secret from him like this."

"I know."

"But I'll just cause problems."

"I know."

"Well…if your purpose for me coming over here was to get me to think, even if it wasn't to get me to think that way, your purpose has been achieved. I'm thinking. And I probably won't stop until my brain is a fried mush."

Dimitri smiled.

"I better go."

He nodded, and kissed the top of my head. I left.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Once I got to the hall that my apartment was in, I leaned against the wall and lost it. I yanked off my high heels and threw them to the ground beside me, and put my head in my hands. I sat there for about ten minutes, just crying, before someone finally walked past and recognized me.

"Hathaway?" Guardian Peyton squatted beside me, his ankles popping as he did so. I cursed under my breath, thinking myself stupid for getting so emotional in the middle of the hallway, where my boss would come by and see. He had a girlfriend in this hall way, some girl by the name of Trixie. Or rather, a friend with benefits, because they weren't actually dating.

I cleared my throat, rubbing my face with my hands. "Yes sir?"

He sighed, and then rubbed my shoulder. "What happened?"

I shook my head, looking up at him. I knew I looked a mess, but he didn't seem to care. "I just messed up my life is all. It's fine."

He smiled, and then sat beside me, his hand moving from my shoulder to my knee. "What do you mean, you messed up your life?"

"I can't really say anything about it. You know how the gossip mill is."

He gave me a look. "You really think I'm going to say anything about it?"

I shook my head. "No, but I really don't think I should say anything anyway, not until I talk to Adrian."

He nodded. "Well, I understand. Get back to me, alright? I'm not a complete dick. You can talk to me."

I laughed. "Alright, Guardian Peyton. Thanks. I better get inside."

We both stood, and he patted my shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

I nodded, and opened the door to my apartment. All was quiet, except for the sound of the air conditioner and the TV on low volume in the living room. Adrian was probably waiting for me to get home. I rubbed my face again, hoping there was no sign that I had just been crying, and let my high heels drop to the floor as I closed the door.

Adrian stood and stretched as I tried to sneak through the living room to go to the bathroom and wash my face. His messy brown hair looked black in the dim light from just the TV, and he looked so handsome, my heart cracked down the middle knowing what I had just done.

"Hey Rose. How'd it go?"

I hid my face with my hair as I continued on to the bathroom. It took me a second to get what he was saying. "Oh, it was fine. Not much happened."

"That's good. Is something wrong?" His voice wasn't suspicious, just worried as I turned on the sink and held my hand under the flow of water, waiting for it to turn warm. When it did, I splashed my face with the water.

"Um… No, I'm fine. Just a long day, is all. What have you been doing?"

I wanted to tell him right off…what had happened between Dimitri and I, but I didn't want to get him mad…I didn't want him to leave me. And he would take my baby with him…because I sure wouldn't be able to take care of her with the demands of my job and everything…

"Oh.. well… I just watched TV," he said lightly, and I rolled my eyes behind the towel I wiped my face dry with. Guess he was keeping some secrets, too.

I set the towel on the counter and let him pull me into his arms for a hug. I hesitated, though, when he leaned down to kiss me. He didn't notice the tension in my body as I let him press his lips to mine. Guilt poured through my body, polluting it. I needed to get it out…but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

He pulled back, confusion on his face. I recognized the look in his eyes as he focused not on me, but my aura. Crap.

"What's wrong, Rose?"

I shook my head, leaning back against the counter. I carefully averted my gaze, not wanting him to see the pain in my eyes. I wanted so bad to just tell him, to see where we stood, but I didn't want to ruin things. I had worked so hard.

I had worked so hard to achieve the perfect family, the perfect life. Without Dimitri in it, it was perfect. I had my little family with our comfy apartment, I had guardian duties with my best friend, who lived not too far from me, and I had good pay. My life was pretty happy.

Until trouble walked in, that is.

"Rose."

I bit my lip, and glanced upward. Adrian had his serious look on, one he didn't wear too often. Apparently, my aura told my feelings, even if he didn't know what I had done.

"What happened? Did someone mess with you? Did someone hurt you?"

I almost smiled at the thought of Adrian trying to protect me. He thought someone had messed with me emotionally…. Well, someone had. Basically. But It was not someone he could go fight.

"No…I'm just tired. I don't really want to talk about it, Adrian. Its trouble at work," I lied smoothly.

"Is it Belikov? Did he mess with you while you were working or something?"

I paused at Dimitri's name, but then shook my head. "No, Adrian. C'mon. Let's just go to bed. Can we talk about this in the morning?"

He stared me in the eye for a couple of seconds, and then let out a breath I didn't know he was holding. "I guess so."

I nodded, and hugged him lightly around the waist. "Thanks, Adrian."

He pulled away and put his hands on my shoulders. When I looked away, his hand went under my chin and lightly tugged it back to meet his gaze. "Look, Rose. If something is wrong, you can talk to me about it. It doesn't matter. I won't get mad at you."

_Oh yes you will! _I thought, but didn't voice my opinion. I swallowed, leaned against him. "I just really don't want to talk about it tonight. I have to be at work at like, nine tomorrow. I want to get up early to spend some time with Arianna before I have to leave again."

"I understand. Go on, go to bed." He kissed the top of my head, and I walked away, wincing at my actions with each step.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

The next morning, I got Arianna up and turned on her morning cartoons while I made her a bowl of oatmeal. She clutched her teddy bear and blanket sleepily while she watched Dora and Boots run across the screen.

I stirred milk into the oatmeal to cool it down, and then tasted a spoonful. It wasn't cool enough for her to eat. I left it on the counter and returned to the fridge to retrieve her sippy cup and pour some fresh milk into it.

She padded into the kitchen, blanket trailing behind her. "Momma?" she asked quietly, still sleepy from being woken up so early.

I turned around, sippy cup in hand. I knelt down, holding my arms out to her. She came to me and wrapped her little arms around my neck. "Yeah, honey?" I said into her hair. She cuddled into me, and I hugged her tighter, never wanting to lose this…connection we had. I had never understood why my mother had been so distant…and having my own child hadn't made me understand. I knew the bond a mother and daughter had now, for myself…and I didn't see how she could have turned that away.

"I'm hungry." She turned her face up so she could look at me, and those green eyes she got from Adrian pierced mine. I flinched, thinking of last night, and nodded.

"I know, baby. I'm letting it cool down so it won't burn you."

She didn't say anything else; she just padded off to the TV again and stared at the screen. She looked like she was about to pass out. Yeah, she really was mine and Adrian's daughter. She was doomed to laziness with parents like us. I laughed to myself.

I stirred the oatmeal again and tested it; it was ready to eat. I called for Arianna to come to the table and eat because the oatmeal was pretty runny with all the milk I had added. She was horrible with a spoon still, and spilled more than she actually maneuvered into her mouth.

She came running into the kitchen just as Adrian emerged from the bedroom, already dressed. He sat on the couch and pulled on some shoes, and then stood, coming into the kitchen. His hair wasn't exactly brushed because it was messy, but it wasn't crazy. His eyes were alert and focused, like he'd been up for hours, and he didn't seem to be sleepy at all. He'd probably been laying there awake for a while.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I caught the scent of his cologne. He kissed my cheek, and I smiled despite myself. "You gonna make me breakfast, too?" he whispered, and laughed quietly.

I shook my head. "You are on your own this morning, mister. I have stuff to do."

He turned me around and wrapped his arms loosely around my waist. "Like what?"

"Like get ready for work. Like spend time with my daughter." I smiled and kissed his chest. Guilt made my own chest ache as I turned away and walked over to Arianna. She ate greedily, slopping it all over herself. I rolled my eyes at her and wiped a napkin over her front. This didn't work, though, so I just tucked a napkin into the collar of her pajamas. The food could be washed out, anyway.

"Fine… Well, I have to go help my mom. She needed something done over at her apartment. I didn't listen long enough to tell what it was."

I smiled to myself and let him press a kiss to the side of my neck, but didn't turn around when he hugged me from behind. He just left, not saying a word.

The phone rang then, and I strode over, picking it up off the charger. It was a black house phone, and had a shrill ring that annoyed everyone that heard it. I had bought it specifically for this reason, so if Lissa needed me and I was asleep, she could call. That ring would wake up the most determined sleeper.

It was Dimitri. I turned away from Arianna, not wanting her to see the pained expression on my face.

"What are you doing calling here?" I hissed into the phone, and then glanced back at Arianna. She had stood up on her chair and was drinking out of the sippy cup, staring in the living room at the TV. Dora must still be on. God forbid she miss Swiper.

"I actually needed to tell you that you left your bra here. I found it when I was getting dressed this morning. I'm pretty sure it's yours, too. I don't bring women home."

I sighed and glanced again at my daughter, who hadn't moved. She still stood immobile on the chair, drinking her milk.

"That was what you called about?"

"Actually, no. I just wanted to see if you were okay, and if you'd told Ivashkov about what happened."

I cleared my throat, and drummed my fingers on the counter. "No, I didn't."

"You should."

"Why do you think so?"

"What, are you not going to tell him?"

I sighed again, loudly, and said, "No that's not it at all-" A loud crash and bang came from behind me, and I whirled around. Arianna lay on the floor, her sippy cup thrown across the floor from her, the chair on top of her. She screamed loudly, holding her face and head. A curse slipped from my mouth, and I told Dimitri hurriedly, "Oh God. I have to go."

"Why, what's-" I hung up on him and rushed to my daughter's side, half throwing the chair across the room as I got her away from it. She still screamed as if I weren't holding her, and I knew that something was very wrong. She always quieted down when held, even if she was in most foul mood.

"Baby, it's alright, it's alright. Mommy's here. I'm so sorry…" I trailed off in horror. What kind of fucking mother was I? I hadn't even told her to sit down! I rubbed her back, and then leaned her against my chest while I tried to see her face and head. "Arianna, can I see?"

She still screamed. I pried her hands carefully away from her face, prepared for the worst, but only saw a wicked black eye already forming and a small cut just under her hair line. I gasped any way, never having seen her really hurt. She must be hurting; no matter how small the injuries looked.

I grabbed my keys from the counter any way and shoved my feet into the first shoes I saw, grabbing my screaming daughter up. Out of sheer panic, I was bringing her to the ER. I didn't know what to do. It didn't look bad…but still. My baby wasn't a wimp.

When I threw open the door, I came face to face with Dimitri, whose hand was raised to knock. He looked surprised, and then his eyes moved to the screaming child in my arms.

"Do you beat your kids now?" he said, and I just stared. That was something Christian would have said. Possibly.

"No, you fucking asshole," I hissed, pushing past him. "She fell. We're going to the hospital. I need you to please tell Adrian where I am. Or go get him, or something. Please."

"Look, stop panicking. I'll drive you. You can call Adrian and then call into work for both of us. Calm down."

I hated being told to calm down, but I took his advice and nodded. "Okay."

We set off down the stairs to his car.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Adrian didn't have to come to the hospital, thank God. Arianna just had a small concussion. I had still winced when I had heard the news, but I had been immensely relieved. My baby was okay. But she had gotten hurt on my watch. I was horrible mother. I yelled at myself the whole time I gathered her up and filled out the necessary paper work.

Adrian knew I was at the hospital with Dimitri, and I knew I would have to explain that later. Every bone in my body wanted to lie, but I knew I would have to tell the truth. I flinched at this and wished I hadn't done anything. My life could have been so perfect!

Maybe it still could be. Maybe he could forgive me…if I promised not to have any contact with Dimitri after this. I could do that. I had done it for years. But I hadn't known if he had loved me or not…

Screw that. I'd just roll with whatever came out of my mouth. I did that often.

I carried Arianna back out to the car, and Dimitri followed closely behind, keeping a sharp eye out for Strigoi. Because it was night, the threat went up, even though it was technically morning for the Moroi.

When we got in the car and the doors were locked, Dimitri just sat there for second, hands on the steering wheel, staring out the windshield. Finally, he moved a hand to his eyes and rubbed them, and then looked at me. "How did she get hurt?"

"I was talking on the phone with you and didn't pay attention to what she was doing."

"It could happen to anyone."

"She has a f- a concussion, Dimitri," I said, stopping myself from cursing because Arianna was very much awake and listening. If she repeated that word, I would kill myself.

"Kids get hurt all the time."

"So? She didn't have to. If I just told her to sit down, maybe she wouldn't be hurt."

"So she probably won't make the same mistake again."

I buried my face in my hands. "Just take me home, Dimitri."

He didn't say anything else, sensing that I was getting more and more upset by the second. I wrapped my arms around myself and stared out the window, occasionally asking Arianna how she was feeling. She wasn't crying anymore, so I guess that was good.

We pulled through the gates with no questions, and that surprised me. I had been hysterical when we'd driven out, and it would be questionable that I was riding with Dimitri anyway. But apparently Dimitri silenced them with a look, flashed his ID, let them check the car, and we drove on through. I was zoned out, in my own little pity partying world.

When he stopped the car, I finally looked up. Arianna was starting to squirm in the back seat, making her discomfort clear. I nodded politely at Dimitri and got out of the car, retrieving my daughter from the back.

"Thanks, Dimitri," I said, not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting to encourage more. I needed time to think.

He nodded and made a motion with his hand, gesturing towards Arianna. "Hope she's okay."

"Thank you. She will be."

I left it at that and then started to open the door to the apartment building, the one that led into the lobby.

From behind me, I heard a low mutter, and then Dimitri called, "Are you just going to leave it at that, after all of that?"

I winced. Dimitri didn't usually act like this. Usually he showed absolutely no emotion when hurt. He was just being an ass now. "Dimitri, just leave it for now. Okay? I have a daughter that needs taken care of, and a FIANCE that needs reassuring HIS daughter is okay. I have things to do."

He nodded and walked away, not saying another word.

A sick feeling churned in my stomach. I clutched my daughter to my chest and stomped up the stairs. When we got upstairs, I opened the door to the apartment, and was immediately bombarded with questions.

Adrian ran up to me, hugging both me and Arianna at the same time, and then I let him pull her into his arms. "Is she okay? What happened? What's wrong with her?" he shot off, stroking her hair. Arianna clung to his neck, murmuring something about being thirsty.

Adrian followed me to the kitchen where I retrieved a new sippy cup from the fridge, one filled with juice. Adrian had apparently cleaned up any traces of the other sippy cup and the disaster it had been paired with. The chair was right side up again, and the cup was in the dishwasher. That was good.

"She fell while standing up in a chair. She just has a mild concussion, nothing serious. She's fine."

Adrian nodded, though he looked no less concerned. He whispered into her hair that he loved her as she drank her juice happily, and I smiled, wrapping my arms around myself. I felt cold. I was still in my pajamas, as I had not had the chance to change when Arianna had fallen.

"Oh, Lissa called. She wanted to see if Arianna was okay. And then she wanted to see if It was okay if she came over later today. I told her it was fine, she was always welcome. Is that okay?"

"Perfectly fine, you know that Adrian."

"Alright. Hey, are you okay?" He'd finally realized that something was wrong with me. I sniffled a little bit and then shook my head.

"No, Adrian, I'm not. I just need time by myself. Just let me think some more, please."

"Think about what?"

"Think about what's wrong with me. Please, Adrian?"

He didn't look like he wanted to allow that, but he did. His eyes followed me as I walked around the kitchen, straightening up. At least, I assumed that.

Funny what guilt does to you.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

I ended up going in to work because I was nervous and sad around Adrian. I felt like I should be wearing a neon sign that shouted: I cheated! I cheated! I walked into Lissa's apartment and knew I would have to be extra careful. There was no way I was telling her that I had cheated…but I knew that she would know there was something wrong with me just by the look on my face.

As much was confirmed as soon as I stepped into the kitchen, where she was making dinner. As she peeled a potato, she looked up and immediately noted something was wrong. Being Lissa, though, she didn't say anything immediately.

"Hey, Rose," she said lightly, looking back at the potato. "How's Arianna?"

I smiled. "She's better. Her head hurts a little bit, but she's fine."

Lissa nodded and finished the potato. "That's great. What's Adrian up to?"

"Watching Arianna and being lazy. He's so good at that."

Lissa laughed and glanced into the living room, where Trent sat playing with a couple of his toys. He was doing well today, no crying like usual when I came over. He thought it wasn't fair for him to have me over, and not Arianna.

"Is there something up with you guys?" she asked innocently, going to the sink and washing the potatoes off in water and tossing them back in the bowl one by one. I leaned against the counter, arms crossed over my chest, and sighed.

"A little bit. But I really don't want to talk about it, Liss," I said softly, staring at the floor. I watched her perfect feet move over the tile as gracefully as a ballerina should be. Too bad that wasn't the career path she had even considered.

I felt surprise burn through the bond, but I ignored it. I didn't need her nagging right now. Running a hand through my hair, I watched the light bounce off of it as it fell back to rest against my collar bone.

She took up the knife again and began to dice the potatoes, careful of her fingers. I glanced up and watched her slender hands cut, and winced as her wrist turned to show a particularly bad scar where she had cut herself going through some bad times back when we were in high school. I felt my fingers move over my own wrist, wondering if Dimitri could ever push me to that limit. I wondered how badly it hurt.

Shaking my head, I swallowed, feeling a little sick to my stomach. No cutting. Arianna needed me healthy and ALIVE. Cutting could get you killed. One little slip, and you were a goner.

Christian walked into the kitchen from the bedroom, a white towel hung over his neck, his jet black hair mussed and wet from a shower. He ignored me and went to Lissa, wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing just below her ear. Lissa smiled and laughed, pushing him back.

"Don't make me throw a potato at you!" she threatened, and tossed the cut up potatoes in the water she had ready in a pot on the stove. She turned up the heat on the burner, and then turned back to me, smiling. "I'm done for now, Rose."

I nodded, and we went to the living room, where Trent was still playing. I sat down on the far end of the couch, and Lissa sat on the other end, hugging her knees. I played idly with my pants leg.

"Seriously, Rose. Something is up. Can you at least give me a hint to what it has to do with?"

I sighed loudly, not looking at her, and mumbled Adrian's name under my breath.

She heard me anyway. "Oh…did you two have a fight?" She scooped up Trent, who was wanting to sit on her lap. He gave a happy laugh and settled in.

I shook my head. "No… He doesn't actually know that anything is wrong in between me and him."

"Is it the engagement?" she asked worriedly, and I looked up, surprised.

"No, I love him. It's just some stuff that has been going on on my side of the relationship. Just… a lot of stuff."

She nodded, and looked down at Trent. Her long eyelashes brushed her cheeks as she did so, making her look so much more gorgeous. She smiled at her son and tapped one finger on the tip of his nose, making a funny face. He giggled loudly and tapped her nose, wiggling away when she tried to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Is it Dimitri, Rose?" she finally asked quietly. I bit my lip, tears already springing to my eyes. Damn, when did I get so weak?

I nodded.

"What about him…" she said, and then looked up again sharply. "Rose, no… You didn't!"

She could read me too well. I should have known.

"Didn't what?" I didn't look at her as I said it, knowing she would see the guilt.

"Rose…."

I buried my head in my hands. "Just don't tell him yet, okay? I'm going to tell him…"

She was quiet for a moment, and then moved over to sit beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. Her smooth hair fell down my shoulder, pale against my skin. "I won't, Rose. But you need to tell him soon. Waiting will just make it worse."

I nodded again. "I know."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

I still hadn't told him. It'd been three days, and I still hadn't told him. And yet, here I was, standing in the back room with Dimitri, discussing work calmly. I pointed to the map, at an area that was pinned in red.

"Is this where the Strigoi are attacking most?" I asked, not meeting his eyes as I did so. He was so close, yet so far away. His body heat just barely reached out and touched my skin, his aftershave filling the room. I breathed shallowly, not wanting to inhale too many of those fumes and become stupid.

"Yes. We sent out a couple of guardians to patrol the area, but there's not much else we can do as far as protection for everyone there goes. As far as we go, we're stepping up the shifts for guardians. When you go in the gates now, you have to have your eyes checked; you have to have your car thoroughly searched, and all the other stuff that they go through. In the main buildings here at Court, you now have to have an ID to get in, proving that you do belong here."

"By shifts for guardians, what do you mean? I haven't been told of this yet."

"Exactly, I'm telling you now. Because I gave the information, I'm now in charge. And I mean that you will be working less shifts for Lissa and more shifts for Court. And conditioning will have to be daily now. If you don't have the time for it, too bad. You have to find a way. So, be in the gym at five o'clock today."

"What the hell am I supposed to do with my daughter? Adrian was going out with some friends tonight."

Dimitri gave me a cold, steady look. "Sounds like a personal problem to me."

Oohh, that just pissed me off. I clenched my teeth and turned, walking away before I could hit him.

I pushed through the doors and out into the main room, which was empty. I thought I was safe from Dimitri until I heard the doors open a second time.

"Rose!" he called, but I didn't turn. I stopped though, which was one of the dumbest things I have ever done in my whole life. I needed to stop this nonsense and get on with planning my wedding. Or more importantly, how to tell Adrian what I had done.

I listened to his footsteps and the pounding of my heart as he approached. My fists were still clenched from being so angry, and I just wanted to turn around and punch him for having potentially ruined the best part of what could have been.

"Look, I'm sorry I'm being such an asshole…." he started, and I turned around and put a hand up. He went silent.

"No, I don't care about that. I just need to tell Adrian what happened and move on. I don't want anything else between you and I. We are over. We've been over for years. I don't know why that happened the other night, but I know it didn't need to happen, and it never should have happened."

He didn't show the hurt he must have been feeling. His face remained cool, calm, collected. I winced internally at that, because some deep part of me, no matter how sick and twisted, wanted him to fight for me. He fought for Moroi, why not for the one he loved?

I didn't want to be the one he loved.

_Oh, but you do!_

Shut up.

Fuck, I'm fighting with myself.

I shook my head, turning around. Dimitri's hand came down on my shoulder. I stopped again, again knowing I shouldn't have, and listened as he talked.

"I love you. I can give you everything Adrian can. You love me too, don't you?"

I nodded. "But I-"

"So it's no different. We deserve to be together too."

"No, it is different. Adrian doesn't deserve this. Arianna doesn't deserve this. Just leave me alone…"

He whirled me around and kissed me. As soon as his lips met mine, a warning shouted in my head. But my arms went around him anyway, twisting themselves into his t-shirt, trying to yank the fabric up. He kept his hands at my hips however, only pressing against me, not letting his hands roam. I moaned under his lips, and felt his mouth curve up into a smile.

And then, as soon as the kiss had started, it ended.

He pulled away, keeping eye contact. "That's only one of the reasons we deserve to be together."


End file.
